SHOWS! (The Beast Awakens)

Swimmers!

The gargantuan, shape-shifting beast known only as LIFEGUARD NIGHTS has been lured out of hibernation to play some very special shows!

--FRIDAY, JANUARY 22ND @ BAR NINE (53rd @ 9th, NYC) @ 9:30 PM

We'll be celebrating the births of Ms. Kristin Ann Fahlbusch, and our very own Herculean drummer, Stephen Seth Dans! It's going to be amazing! Long lost hits, newfangled hits, and a very special surprise or two! You do not want to miss it!

--SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6th @ BAR NINE @ 9 PM with HRNY WRMS!

We'll be celebrating the birth of my dear sweet wife, Eve, who will be hand-selecting the setlist for us! Plus, HRNY WRMS! A wonderful night is guaranteed!

--THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 18th @ DUBLIN HOUSE (30 Monmouth St, Red Bank, NJ) 9:30-11:30

Our first ever appearance at the legendary Dublin House, a fine watering hole in Red Bank, NJ. We'll be rocking for a good portion of the evening so come on down and strap yourself in, it's gonna be a wild ride. There will also be a special guest performance by Sean Calvert's new musical endeavor, which will most likely melt your faces!

Hope to see you folks at these elegant affairs!

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Happy New Year!

Swimmers!

We here at Lifeguard Nights hope 2010 has been treating you well so far, with many warm hugs and kisses, rubs and tugs, cakes and cookies, so on and so forth! 2008 was great, 2009 was fine and 2010 shall be...well, to be honest, the initial word that came to me was "enh," which is the sound of my apathetic, disaffected shrug. However, in keeping with the spirit of rebirth that each new year provides (albeit fleetingly), I have decided that 2010 shall be...ZENH! Zenh is very similar to "enh" except the shrug-sound is now less disaffected and more meditative, plus with a z sound at the beginning of it.

[I will just say right now, so as not to sound like one of the pseudo-spiritual assholes described in "Amen," that I am no expert on Zen Buddhism, nor do I pretend to practice it, or intend to start practicing it. Everything I know about Zen I learned from Wikipedia, and The Golden Child (and now that I think about it, especially the part where the title character turns a Pepsi can into a dancing figurine, I'm pretty sure that movie has nothing to do with Buddhism.)]

Zenh, however, the philosophy that I'm making up right now as I type this, meets somewhere in the middle between bitter, dejected detachment, and enlightenment. The three tenets of Zenh are as follows:

1. Shit is going to piss you off. When shit pisses you off, ignore the shit as best you can. Do not, under any circumstances dwell on the shit. There's always going to be more shit.

2. Avoid the shit, unless the shit is unavoidable. Some examples of this type of shit: Drama, Stress, Heavy Lifting, Vomiting, etc.

3. Choose to do the shit that you love, first and foremost, no matter what other people are trying to get you to do, and no matter what they think/say/write about what the shit you are doing. (NOTE: The word "do" can be replaced with "be" as I believe one is what one does. I shall henceforth call this the "Do/Be" principle.)

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure there's some shit I'm leaving out. Basically, just like every year, I hope 2010 is healthy and productive not only for Lifeguard Nights, but for you all as well. Do not doubt yourselves or your abilities. Make some art and share it with your friends and/or the world. Do not buy the dishonest shit the mang is trying to sell you. His shit sucks.

Safe swimming and do/be it up,

Vincent and Lifeguard Nights

"A Very Mercury X-Mas" Photos, Setlist & More!

Swimmers!

A tidal-wave-sized THANK YOU to all who came out to our wild, sold-out gig at the Mercury Lounge this past weekend, it was a freakin' blast!

Here are some photos of the event, taken by master photographer Jimmy O'Kelly. Thanks Jimmy!

Setlist after the photos (I will not write "jump." Go fuck yourself, "jump.")














And a couple photos by Alyssa Millman, thanks Alyssa!






SETLIST:

The Kids Ain't Alright*
White Light
Dire Straits
Whore
I Don't Like Love*
New Regrets
Batten Down the Hatches
Sunrise*
We
The Red Eye

* Debut performances

Once again, thanks to everyone who came out and we hope you had as great a time as we did! Thanks to the overwhelming turnout, it looks like we'll be triumphantly returning to the BOWERY BALLROOM next year! Wee-hoo!

That's all for now. Be back soon with info on upcoming gigs, recordings, etc, etc.

Happy holidays!

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Mercury Lounge Stage Set-Up

In case you were curious.

Update: "A Very Mercury X-Mas" SOLD-OUT!!!

Swimmers,

Yes indeed, you read that correctly, our 3rd Annual X-Mas Spectacular with Wormburner, Knockout Drops and The Yule Dogs is sold out! Frikkin' sweet! I just hope you got your tickets in time, whoever you are that is reading this.

We've got the full 10 piece band in effect for the show, featuring:

Cube Vintner on guitar and vocals
Boris "Shoot'Em Up" Veysman on the bass
S.S. Dans on the drums
Peter J. Bellomo on the keys, guitar and vocals
Timmay J. Dempsey on the guitar, keys, and vocals
John P. Dorocki on the guitar and drunk
Sean "Lord" Calvert on percussion
Paulie J. Donofrio on percussion
C. Brad Clymer on the trumpet
Sara Jacovino on the trombone

Rehearsals have been stellar and I guarantee we are going to pleasure-fuck the shit out of your ears! We go on at 8 PM SHARP so if you have tickets, don't be late!

We'll also be giving away tons of free shit like we do every year. Why? Because Santa Claus isn't real, but Lifeguard Nights is. That's why, fucker!

IMPORTANT UNRELATED UPDATE!

For those of you in the great state of NJ, Lifeguard Nights will be performing a very special stripped down acoustic set at Twisted Tree Cafe in Asbury Park (609 Cookman Ave) tomorrow night, Saturday, December 5th, from 7-9 PM! We'll be playing some oldies, some newies, some covers, whatever you want! They're gonna be lighting the tree that night in downtown A.P. and have all sorts of other festivities going on so the town is bound to be a'hoppin! Come on down! I can't stop using exclamation points!!!

Happy holidays!

Vincent and Lifeguard Nights!

THIS JUST IN: X-MAS SHOW 12/12!!!!!

Swimmers!

Ho-ho-holy crap, it's that time of year again! The annual Lifeguard Nights/Wormburner/Knockout Drops/Yule Dogs Christmas Extravaganza is taking place on Saturday, December 12th at the Mercury Lounge! We're pumped!

This WILL SELL OUT so get your tickets NOW!

http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0000435BB0E38F76?artistid=1379813&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=52



We've got a number of surprises in store for you all, including special guests, new songs (including an all-new x-mas jam), old hits, free giveaways, and much much more!

And that's just us! Throw in Wormburner, Knockout Drops, and a special set of classic Christmas tunes by the Yule Dogs (members of all bands plus ex-Bogmen) and you've got a pretty incredible show. All for only 10 BUCKS!

Trust me when I say that this is going to be a special night. It always is. All of the bands, our fans and our friends, are an amazing group of people with an incredibly positive spirit that will permeate the room and leave you smiling for days. I hope to see you smiling there,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Halloween Show Set List, Pics & More!

Swimmers!

Thanks for coming out to the Halloween show the other night at Bar 9, we had a blast! The band consisted of me on guitar/vocals, Boris Veysman on the bass geetar, Steve Honoshowsky on the drums, Peter J. Bellomo on guitar/piano/vocals, Brad Clymer on the trumpet and Paulie J Donofrio on percussion. They nailed it. The setlist was as follows:

The Whip
I Rattle When I Run
Sea Of Death
Dire Straits
Nothing Left To Live For
Whore
Bits & Pieces
In My Head
Stealing Coins From Wishing Wells/Hard Times
My Chevrolet
Batten Down The Hatches
The Red Eye

I dressed up as the dark lord, Satan. Here's a couple pics. If anyone has any more, send 'em our way. Thanks! Oh yeah, and there's a few Halloween albums left over, if you want one, let me know, I'll get it to you free of charge!

...And We're Back!

Swimmers,

Hi there, missed me? I didn't think so. Anyway, after a brief hiatus I'm happy to announce the return of Lifeguard Nights to the stage, to celebrate our favorite holiday (Halloween) at our favorite bar (Bar Nine) with our favorite band (Hrny Wrms)!

The party starts at 9 PM on Friday, October 30th (Devils Night) at Bar Nine on 807 9th Ave (between 53rd and 54th). We're going on first, followed by Hrny Wrms!

We're preparing a very special set just for the occasion, featuring some of the more dark/scary LGN material. Old hits, new hits, obscure hits galore! The band will (hopefully) be comprised of me on guitar and vocals, Boris Veysman on bass, Lil' Steve Honoshowsky on drums, Peter J. Bellomo on guitar/piano/vocals, Paulie Jo Donofrio on congas, Charles Brad Clymer on trumpet and Sarah Rose on viola. You've definitely never heard us like this before. I myself have never actually heard us like this before, and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be awesome.

IT'S A COSTUME PARTY SO DON'T BE LAME. I will personally be giving away a special prize for best costume.

In addition to all this greatness, I'll also be releasing a very special brand-spankin-new Uncle Vin HALLOWEEN ALBUM! It's fun stuff for the whole family, and it rocks pretty hard. Quite honestly, I myself am shocked at how hard some of these tunes rock. You won't be disappointed.

Hope to see you there!

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

State of the Lifeguard Address

Swimmers,

Hi there, how's it going? Another summer is rapidly coming to a close, and sadly, so is another chapter in the Lifeguard Nights movie of the week. As some of you know, Lifeguard Nights had been trying things out differently the past few months. Instead of recording at home and then rounding up whomever was willing and able to play gigs with me, I stripped the band down to a core group with some new players and we began working on a bunch of new material together. While the new modus operandi did yield some promising results, ultimately, it just didn't work for me. It became a complicated and difficult situation, and there's no need to go into all the details. Basically, I just wasn't having fun with it anymore, and that's not a feeling I ever want to have again.

So, I'm going back to my old ways of recording at home and then playing gigs with whomever wants to learn the songs and join me. I've got a ton of new songs in the on-deck circle waiting to be recorded and I'm pretty excited about them.

"How do you follow up a double-album," you ask? A 5 disc box set, of course.

As for shows, we have none scheduled at the moment while I get working on these new recordings. I'll keep you posted.

Last Minute Gig @ Brighton Bar!

Yes indeed, we've just been added to a stellar bill featuring No Use For Humans and Recreation, Arts and Pets! It all goes down at the Brighton Bar this Saturday, August 15th. I don't know who all is going to be playing in our band, or what the order of the bands are, if there's a cover, or anything else. All I know is you should get to the Brighton around 9 and stay for all 3 sets of musical mayhem. You won't regret it.

Outdoor Afternoon Acoustic Show This Sunday @ Trophy Bar!

Lifeguard Nights will be playing an acoustic set in the lovely backyard garden of Trophy Bar, our favorite Brooklyn watering hole!

Come have some hair of the dog and listen to some soothing rock and roll under the beautiful summer sun on a Sunday afternoon!

The bar opens at 2, we'll be going on around 3.

No Cover!

"Trophy is a warm, intimate space located at 351 Broadway between Keap and Rodney streets in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Conveniently accessible via public transit (JMZ to Marcy or Hewes, G to Broadway or L to Lorimer)"

http://trophybar.blogspot.com

Free Download of "The Miss Factory, Volume 1" !!!

You can now download the whole "Miss Factory, Vol.1" album for FREE at

www.tamurrecords.org

head on over there now and download that shit!

Many thanks to Ray from Le Rug (www.myspace.com/lerug) at Tamur Records for putting that up there for us!

In other news, we still got some shows coming up this Summer:

TONIGHT!!! Wednesday, July 29th @ The Delancey, NYC 8 PM SHARP

be there or be an asshole.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

Oh, look out all you rock and rollers! This here page is undergoing some changes at the moment, and soon it's gonna be all tricked out and shit (just like my Chevrolet, WOOT WOOT!)

As you can see I already added that fine-ass video player over there, and that half-ass music player, and some links and shit. Check back soon to see the real deal Sally Field!

Michael Jackson's Dead

Now get over it.

Summer of rock continues....

Saturday, July 11th at All Asia Cafe, (Cambridge, MA) 8 PM

Thursday, July 16th at Bar Nine (807 9th Ave), 7 PM--B-Day Hootenanny featuring Boss Tweed, Lifeguard Nights, Hrny Wrms & much more! All for FREE

Hot Fun In My Ass!

Swimmers,

Summer is officially here! I mean technically it is...the weather is still fucking rainy or cloudy every day, but is that going to stop us from having a damn good time? Hell no. We've got a plethora of wild happy fun shows coming up:

Sunday, June 28th at The Annex (Asbury Park, NJ) at 8 PM--with HRNY WRMS!

Tuesday, June 30th at Tommy's Tavern (Greenpoint), 8 PM--with LA Velvet!

Saturday, July 4th in Schwenksville, PA--Outdoor BBQ All Day/Nite w/Si Senorita!

Saturday, July 11th at All Asia Cafe, (Cambridge, MA) 8 PM

Thursday, July 16th at Bar Nine (807 9th Ave), 7 PM--B-Day Hootenanny featuring Boss Tweed, Lifeguard Nights, Hrny Wrms & much more! All for FREE

Wednesday, July 29th at The Delancey (168 Delancey), 8 PM

All of these shows are going to be spectacular. Go to them.

"The Miss Factory" OUT NOW!

Finally, after months of tweaking, pruning, caressing, and some inappropriate fondling, "The Miss Factory" Volumes 1 and 2 are now up on iTunes for your downloading pleasure! Just in time for Summer!





If you actually download it, please let us know what you think!

The Miss Factory, Volume 2 & BEYOND!!!

Hi everybody,

So I finally finished up The Miss Factory, Volume 2, and it is officially a passport to wild times. As with Volume 1, a number of special guests joined me on these tunes, including Boris Veysman on bass licks, Drew Brady on keys and vocals, Brad Clymer on trumpet and groaning, Sarah Rose on keys and Gerard Egan on Slash lead guitar. They all kicked ass and I can't thank them enough for their time and effort. The tracklist for Volume 2 is as follows:


1. Open Season
2. Down And Out
3. Sorry
4. Hide And Seek
5. Keep Trying
6. Bury Me
7. In My Head
8. Bits And Pieces
9. Trash
10. Magazine
11. Circles
12. Road To Nowhere
13. Do The Stranglehold

Right now we're still trying to determine the best way to release "The Miss Factory," since getting double-albums made up is apparently rather costly, and coupled with the fact that nobody buys cds anymore, that's not awesome. But the alternative is risking having this gem lounge in obscurity (which it probably will anyway) and we can't take that chance. Once we figure out the game plan, we'll let you know. Whether or not we get physical copies made up, REST ASSURED the album(s) will be up on iTunes soon. If it's one thing I hate, it's you not resting assured. So please, rest away.

As for THE FUTURE (and boy do I love the future! In the future I'm a space-cop!), a few of us have been practicing regularly (like a real live band, how about that!) and have been working on some even newer material, which I think is going to shock and delight your pants off. It's a whole new sound, more electric and rocking and fun. These songs may end up part of my vague plan to attempt another concept album, called "Lifeboat For Fatty" or they may end up turning into something else. Who knows? I sure the fuck don't, but I'm pretty psyched about it. We'll be debuting some of these new gems at our upcoming shows, which are:

May 24th at the Mullet Convention BBQ in Guttenberg NJ
May 27th at Bar 9 in NYC with Little Embers (8 PM)
June 15th at Pianos in NYC (9 PM)

COME CHECK THAT SHIT OUT FOOL.

"ATE" Now Available Online!

Swimmers,

After many months collecting dust on the shelf, "ATE" is finally available on iTunes and various other digital outlets for your downloading pleasure. Recorded in the Summer/Fall of 2008, "ATE" is my 8th (see what I did there? BAM!) Lifeguard Nights home-recorded album. It's a little weird, I'm not going to lie to you. After the more polished (relatively) and deliberately constructed (sorta) "Following The Hollowing" album, I wanted to do something different, something a little more raw and off-the-cuff. Most of the songs on "ATE" were written and recorded in the same day, without too much hemming and hawing over the lyrics and instrumentation and whatnot. I just banged 'em out.

Musically, there is some pretty catchy stuff on here, but there's also some more far-out stuff as well, like "Smoke Signals" featuring a distorted vocal solo over a hypnotic banjo melody and castanets. "Right At Home" features slide guitar and some good ol' fashioned knee-slapping, and "The Loser Parade" features me on Charlie Brown sad (bad) trumpet. It's a pretty wild ride.

Lyrically, the album is pretty bitter and antagonistic, but hey, that's what I was feeling at the time and I felt I should "keep it real," as the kids say. Writing music is the only way I know how to get my frustration out. Cheaper than a shrink, and more fun, I imagine.

I sketched out the cover one day at the office:



Then one night after sucking down a Rotisserie chicken and a few baked potatoes, I had Eve take this photo of my gut, and Dave Biskup photoshopped the beautiful cover:



VOILA! A masterpiece was born...or a minorpiece....depends on your perspective I guess. It's a piece of some kind, I assure you. "of shit?" you ask. Why I oughta....don't make me come over there, buddy! I'll do it.

"ATE" Track Listing:

1. Let's Start Over
2. Good Riddance
3. Geeks On Dates
4. Hidden Torture
5. Imbecile Reign
6. Smoke Signals
7. Bloody City
8. Right At Home
9. Joy Boy Army
10. The Voice of Treason
11. Walking Through A Bad Dream
12. Thanks For Not Coming
13. The Loser Parade

In This Light

After getting hitched back in September, Eve and I took off for Vegas to lounge around in the dry heat and piss our money away. That got old fast and so we decided to head to La Jolla, CA for a couple days. While there, we stopped by my favorite place in the world, the Torrey Pines cliffs. I started writing a song and Eve helped out and "In This Light" was born. We decided to compile the footage from that day and make a little video out of it. Here it is:




The rest of the honeymoon video will be available soon on various adult websites. Kidding, ma, kidding.

Hangin' On E Street with Lifeguard Nights

Inspired by the recent "Hangin' Out On E Street" series on The Boss's website(www.brucespringsteen.net/new/hanginout.html), I decided to shoot my own video detailing how the Boss has influenced my life, musically and otherwise. Enjoy!

Note: This video was not commissioned by The Boss or his people, I just have a lot of free time on my hands. I hope The Boss and his people don't mind that I did this.