West Coast Tour Blog, Day 2

After waking up with a case of heartburn that would make Tommy Lasorda proud, I stumbled down to meet Drew and Boris at the hotel cafe for breakfast. I was hoping it was a complimentary breakfast, but alas, it was not. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it was an insulting breakfast. The waiter was about as friendly as Stalin, the coffee should have been ashamed of itself (especially in Seattle), and the prices seemed like they were set in the distant future after a serious rise in inflation. But you know me, I don't like to complain....

As we packed up our crap, Mike's keen eye (with the aid of Steve's 2-nocs) managed to spy a bunch of junkies hanging out on the street corner below. We managed to catch one lucky fellow actually jamming a needle into his arm, while one of his buddies stumbled around trying to pull up his pants for about 10 minutes. Unfortunately, none of the postcards in the hotel gift shop depicted such a beautiful scene, so I bought one of the Space Needle instead. Close enough.

We waved bye bye to Seattle...



...and hello to Portland, where I ruined Steve's beautiful nature shot of two pigeons crapping on a water fountain by walking into frame.



Later in the day, Mike Biskup was reunited with his birth family.



After those heartwarming moments, we decided to celebrate by heading over to the venue we were playing at that night, The Red Room, to check it out. As we pulled into the parking lot, we learned that beer had called to say it missed us, which was great news!



"Coincidentally," Mike said, "I miss beer."



We all laughed. Especially Steve, who giggled like a sissy.



It always gets me hot when Steve giggles like a sissy, so I ran over and gave him a licking.



Boris got a little jealous of Team A-Hole's sexual chemistry, and invited Team D-Bag's John Dorocki over to give him a licking of his own.



John seemed to like the idea.



After all the licking, we reunited with our old friend beer, and played a show too. It was fun. Unfortunately, my plans to reunite with my old high school buddy and secret society FlexGrip member Pat Hayden fell through, when he didn't show up. After a number of $1 mystery shots (which may or may not have been rat poison), we headed back to Flirt's Lounge at the Holiday Inn, where a wedding reception was taking place. The spirit of Elvis (with a little help from those $1 mystery shots) took control of my body.



In all the excitement, I'm quite certain I wet myself. I ran upstairs, ordered another late night pizza, blew a couple lines of parmesan cheese, and called it a night.