Swimming in a Shallow Sea

Valentine's Ball @ Stone Pony Friday 2/10!

2012-01-25T16:50:00.000-05:00

Swimmers!

Lifeguard Nights will be making our first appearance of 2012 at the legendary Stone Pony on Friday, February 10th, opening up for The Gay Blades as part of their "Valentine's Ball"! It's our first time ever playing the Pony and we're thrilled. As usual we'll be doing some oldies and some newies, and the lineup will be the same as the Bowery Ballroom, with the addition of Hall O' Famer Dr. Ew Brady on keys and vocals. We're pumped!

Doors are at 7 but we go on at 8 PM SHARP! FOR REAL. They run a tight ship so be on time.

You can buy tickets DIRECTLY FROM US for a mere $10, all you have to do is send the 10 via Paypal to vebrue@msn.com and let me know your address and I'll mail them to you, or if it's close to the day of the show I can just meet you beforehand and give them to you in person. OR you can buy them online at the door for 12 bucks but that's dumb. Save your two bucks.

RSVP!

https://www.facebook.com/events/231305906947701/

Hope to see you there, safe swimming!

Vincent & Lifeguards

New album "Chapter 11" is here!

2012-01-13T15:50:00.001-05:00

Swimmers!

Here is "Chapter 11," the 11th home-recorded Lifeguard Nights album. Technically I recorded it in 2010, but I've been sitting on it for a while. Eventually it said "Get the hell off me!" so here it is. At the moment, Bandcamp is the only place to buy this album and/or hear these songs. In an effort to save money and be environmentally-friendly, all of our future releases will be digital, and probably straight through Bandcamp. Chapter 11 by Lifeguard Nights

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T17:24:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

Happy 2012! We here in Lifeguard Land hope all your holidays were lovely! I promise this year will be much more productive than 2011, which was the first year since the beginning of time in which I did not release an album. I was working hard on new stuff, though, and you will hear that stuff very soon.

First up, I finally finished "Chapter 11" the 11th (see what I did there?) Lifeguard Nights home-recorded album. After that, the long-awaited "The Last Summer" album, the third and final Lifeguard Nights studio album featuring a wide variety of Lifeguard Nights All-Stars. I am also finishing up the "Dark Side of the Pool" outtakes, which will be it's own album, and The South Jersey Seashore Lifeguard Convention Band's "We're Having A Great Time", which we initially started recording Summer '11 at our LBI house. After that will be a new Lifeguard Nights album, tentatively titled "Black and Brue" featuring all brand spankin' new hits.

I'll also be finishing up the debut album from Ballroom (http://ballroomband.blogspot.com) which features former and occasionally current Lifeguards Steve Honoshowsky and Mike Biskup. That should be out in a couple months.

It's going to be a great year, stay tuned and safe swimming!

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Many Thanks!

2011-12-18T11:49:00.003-05:00

Swimmers!

A gigantic thank you to everyone who came out to the Bowery Ballroom Friday night!!! It was another legendary evening for us and wouldn't have been possible without you. Special thanks to THE GUARDETTES (Katy, Alyssa and Eve) for their spectacular dancing, Wormburner, Mad Larry and Booga Sugar for their fantastic rock and roll, and the Bowery Ballroom for hosting us all. Also thanks to Veronica Lola for taking this nice photo:

We'll be back stronger than ever in 2012. Happy holidays and safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Bowery Ballroom Xmas Show Stage Set Up

2011-12-15T16:31:00.001-05:00

In case you were curious. Again.

Xmas Show Promo!

2011-12-08T00:08:00.001-05:00

Xmas Show Flyer!

2011-12-07T10:11:00.001-05:00

HUGE NEWS!

2011-11-02T10:30:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

Ho-Ho-Ho, get back over here and give ODB his money! Just kidding. RIP ODB. Great news, we are returning to the BOWERY BALLROOM on Friday, December 16th for another Christmas Spectacular!!! Our old pals Wormburner will be joining us, along with Mad Larry and Booga Sugar, who will be closing out the night with a set of Christmas classics! It's going to be fantastic, and we are pumped.

In honor of this special event we will be busting out all of our greatest hits (or at least what some people might deem are our greatest hits), as well as one brand new rock and roll song, and our Christmas hit. Joining me on the team this year: Bassmaster "Wild Bor" Boris Veysman on bass, Drum Prodigy "He Busy" Steve Honoshowsky on drums, Surf Legend "No Relation to Vincent" Paulie Donofrio on percussion, and introducing Spider Bags' "Fast Party" Gregg Levy on lead guitar. We're going on first so get there early!

7:30 PM - Lifeguard Nights
8:30 PM - Mad Larry
9:30 PM - Wormburner
10:30 PM - Booga Sugar

Get your tickets now!

http://www.boweryballroom.com/event/74779

Hope to see you there! Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-21T10:40:00.005-05:00

Swimmers!

It's that time of the year again! No, I'm not menstruating you jerk, it's Halloween time, which means it's time to bust out the old Halloween album that I recorded a few years ago, and try to force it upon you so that it will become a Halloween staple along with pumpkins and trick or treating and sticking razor blades into apples. IF YOU WANT THE WHOLE ALBUM FOR FREE, EMAIL ME AND I WILL SEND IT TO YOU.

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

New song/video

2011-10-10T11:26:00.004-05:00

Swimmers,

I was sitting in my front yard playing guitar one day this summer when this song came to me. I decided to record it on my phone just so I wouldn't forget it (as I usually do with new songs), but I think this came out decently as is. So here it is. I'm singing kind of quietly so as not to freak out the neighbors (they're very sensitive).

Solo Show Sunday!

2011-09-22T11:45:00.002-05:00

Swimmers,

I'll be performing solo this Sunday at Rock 'n Joes in Point Pleasant Beach NJ, as part of the "Listen Up" Songwriter Series. I commence rocking at 7:30 PM SHARP, and there will be a short Q&A afterward. Come ask me things, I promise I will mumble a possibly truthful answer. It's gonna be fun. RSVP:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=167480926664400

Safe swimming,

Vincent

Many thanks!

2011-08-18T09:45:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

Fast times at Seaside Heights last night, we had a blast! There were fireworks, there was a red moon, there were mammoth shots of whiskey, and there was some pretty f'ng great rock and roll. The once-in-a-lifetime line-up included:

Boris Veysman on the bass
Steve Honoshowsky on the drums
Paulie Donofrio on percussion
Gregg Levy on lead guitar

with special guests:

Peter Bellomo on backup vocals
Sean David Cunningham on violin
Sylvana Joyce on backup vocals
Jamie DeJesus on backup vocals

It was fantastic. The setlist is below, although it's missing our triumphant closer, Two Tickets To Paradise.

Videos soon!

Safe swimming,

Vincent

BOARDWALK SHOW + New Track!

2011-08-02T11:36:00.003-05:00

Swimmers!

Eyyyy, how's your summer going? I've got some wonderful news for you all, Lifeguard Nights will be performing at EJ's in Seaside Heights on Wednesday, August 17th, which is right on the boardwalk! And there will be fireworks right before our set! And it's FREE! It's the show we've been waiting about 11 years to play. It's going to be fantastic. Come join us!

In the meantime, here's "The Parting," the closing track from the forthcoming "The Last Summer" album. Enjoy!

The Parting by sjslcb

Safe swimming,

Vincent

Lamp Post Video!

2011-07-20T19:34:00.001-05:00

Spare Tire, Unrequited Love, and 80% of I'd Prefer It If You Weren't In Pornos. Enjoy!

thanks to Lifeguard Wife for shooting.

Thanks/Lamp Post Round-up!

2011-07-18T09:23:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

Many thanks to all ye who came out to the show this past Saturday at the Lamp Post, it meant a lot to me and I love you all dearly! Thanks to Zac for booking us, Heroes of the Open End for rocking after us, my lovely wife for taking photos/video, Jamie and Kim for the brownies and the super-fun ship wheel, the guy whose name I forget who set up the fun lights around the stage, and last but not least; Steve, Boro and Paulie for joining me. I haven't had that much fun rocking out since...probably the last time we played, almost 6 months ago. Hopefully it won't be six months til the next one. I'll be posting some photos/videos as soon as I can for you to enjoy. Here's what we played:

Bastille Day
Summer Dress
Spare Tire
Unrequited Love
I'd Prefer It If You Weren't In Pornos
City of Golden Lights
Radiator
The Kids Ain't Alright
Robin Hood
Batten Down the Hatches
The Red Eye

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguards

This Saturday!

2011-07-14T14:57:00.000-05:00

SHOW + Stuff/Things/Update

2011-07-07T14:57:00.005-05:00

Swimmers!

Hope you've all been enjoying the Summer and swimming safely! I've been doing some renegade 'guarding on the weekends in Jersey and so far, so good. Haven't lost a soul on my watch (except for that one guy, but nobody liked him anyway.)

Anywhom, I know that this time of year is typically when we (Lifeguard Nights/The SJSLCB) kick into high gear, and I apologize for our recent lack of shows/productivity. There are a number of reasons for this, including...

1. getting older/burning out
2. commuting 4 hours a day into the city (see #1)
3. everyone in the band lives far away from each other and is in other bands
4. i started a new band Ballroom (http://ballroomband.blogspot.com)
5. bar 9 closed
6. now that i live close to the beach, i actually go there, instead of just singing about going there

...to name just a few. But rest assured, there is plenty of new Lifeguard material still in the works, and it WILL get done soon and you will hear and probably (possibly) love it!

In other fantastic news, on Saturday July 16th we'll be returning to the stage at The Lamp Post in Jersey City, NJ at 10 PM. We'll be playing old oldies, oldies, and newer oldies, and maybe even some newies. It's going to be great. (It's also my birthday weekend, if you care to celebrate that sort of thing.)

Hope to see you there! Safe swimming,

Vincent

Our Latest & Greatest Unauthorized Music Video!

2011-06-10T10:10:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

I apologize for the lack of Lifeguard stuff and things the past few months, I happened to find myself in another new band (http://ballroomband.blogspot.com) but rest assured there is still plenty happening in Lifeguard Land. Like this, for example:

UPDATE: The video has been taken down unfortunately, as you can see. If you missed it, I'll have you know it was a hidden-camera close-up shot of a Brazilian woman's ample bottom in a marketplace. Truly remarkable cinema. Ah well. I'm sure there's more where that came from.

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Videos from Fontanas

2011-04-20T10:03:00.000-05:00

Swimmers!

Yeah, these are a little old. But they're fun.

Safe swimming,

Vincent

Thanks! + Fontana's Setlist

2011-03-02T11:01:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

Thanks for coming out to the rock and roll party this past Saturday night, we had a freakin' blast! Unfortunately, Hrny Wrms had to cancel due to Scott's shitty immune system. Watch and listen carefully to the beginning of this video from last week and you can practically see the moment when karma take physical form and makes Scott sick. And then enjoy the rest of it because it's f'ng awesome.

Anyway, they were bummed, we were bummed, you were bummed, but we pressed on and had a wild time anyway. Lifeguard Wife took some sweet videos which I'll post soon. In the meantime here's what we did:

The Kids Ain't Alright
If Only
Lost Boy
Allie Says
Driveway Dreams
The Gun Show
Mayday
Batten Down The Hatches
Miracle
The Red Eye
We're Having A Great Time*
--encore
Whore
I Don't Like Love
Dire Straits
Over It

*Debut performance (also, a disaster. my bad.)

Strap on a diaper cause there's plenty more rock and roll coming this Spring/Summer!

Stay out of tune, and safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Lifeguards/Hrny Wrms this Saturday! Hibernation Almost Over!

2011-02-23T11:17:00.002-05:00

Good News and Sad News

2011-01-05T11:17:00.011-05:00

Swimmers!

It is with great mirth and yet a little melancholy that I proclaim HAPPY (freakin') NEW YEAR! I will explain the reasons for both in a bit, but first:

In case you didn't get the tweets (twitter.com/lifeguardnights if you're nasty), a belated, huge THANK YOU to all who came out to the Mercury Lounge last month for the annual Christmas Spectacular. It was the most fun I've ever had in my life, and I'm not just saying that to be cute like a subway masturbator. Thank you to my fellow Guards and Guardettes, Wormburner, Knockout Drops the Yule Dogs, and all of you for kicking ass. Can't wait to do it again next year!

GOOD NEWS: Lifeguard Headquarters has officially moved into a lovely chateau by the sea, and though we had some technical difficulties at the outset, we're settling in nicely. The recording equipment is all set up and I've already begun work on "The Last Summer" (the next and perhaps final Lifeguard Nights studio album) as well as "We're Having A Great Time" (the next SJSLCB album) and "Chapter 11" (the next Lifeguard Nights home recorded album) as well as about 2 billion other songs. As we get more settled in and accumulate more stuff and things, I can assure you we'll be cranking out the misses like never before. Or exactly like before, which was still at a pretty high rate.

SAD NEWS: I just learned this morning that the Bar 9 we all know and love is closing tonight. Bar 9 has been our home away from home for as long as we've been a band and it's hard for me to put into words how much that place, and the people there, have meant to us. We've celebrated birthdays, engagements, weddings, holidays and life there. We've held fundraisers for friends there, and we've made new friends there, great friends, with whom we've sang and danced and laughed until the wee hours of the morning. The support and encouragement that we received there can never be matched, and will never be forgotten. It was a special place and we will miss it dearly. Thank you Kieran, Will, Simon, Harold, Thor, Noelle, Annie, Mad Larry, and everyone else we played and partied with, for all the memories that we can remember, and the free drinks that killed the rest. I hope we can find a new place to call home soon enough.

If anyone wants to head over one last time, join me after work. Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Merc Lounge Stage Set-Up oh 10

2010-12-09T12:38:00.003-05:00

Enjoy. Enjoy the shit out of it.

"Assassination on X-Mas Eve"

2010-11-14T17:50:00.000-05:00

4th Annual "A Very Mercury X-Mas!"

2010-11-11T12:23:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way to:

http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0000455202DDA1A1?artistid=1514826&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=60

and get your tickets NOW for the 4th Annual Yule Dogs Spectactular at the Mercury Lounge, Friday December 10th! We'll be kicking things off promptly at 8 PM and will be followed by Wormburner and Knockout Drops, and as always the evening will conclude with the Yule Dogs (members of all bands plus some Bogmen/Mad Larry/et al) singing all your favorite Christmas hits.

In addition to all the usual excitement, this will be our "Lifeboat For Fatty" Release Party as well, and we'll be performing the album in it's entirety for what will be the first, and most likely last, time! I've assembled a crack team of crackheads to pull it off, and it's going to be freaking awesome.

LAST YEAR SOLD OUT WELL IN ADVANCE, SO GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

Hope to see you there! Safe swimming,

Vincent

Thanks/Setlist/LIFEBOAT NEWS!

2010-11-04T15:21:00.003-05:00

Swimmers!

Thanks to all who made it out to Wicked Willy's last night for the Lifeguard Nights/Hanky Panky extravaganza, and thanks to Satchel Jones for hosting us! It was a wild time and it was a treat to have Dr. Ew Brady back on the keys and vocals for both sets, as we ran through some Lifeguard Nights hits of yesteryear. Here are the sets:

Lifeguard Nights

Whiny White Boy
Downtown
Everything's Falling Apart
Shame
Dire Straits
Lost Boy
Lonely Hwy
Batten Down the Hatches
The Red Eye

Hanky Panky

Tomorrow (Mark Sandman)
I'm On Fire (The Boss)
Sunday Morning Coming Down (Kris Kristofferson)
Back On The Blow (Hanky Panky original)
All Shook Up (The King)
Harvest Moon (Neil Young)
King of Carrot Flowers (Neutral Milk Hotel)
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Cyndi Lauper)

We unfortunately had to cut a couple numbers out of the Hanky Panky set due to time constraints, but rest assured, Hanky Panky will probably return to the stage sometime before 2014.

Now for an !IMPORTANT ANNOUCEMENT!

You can now stream all 10 tracks from "Lifeboat For Fatty" for a limited time at:

http://www.myspace.com/sjslcb

So go there and do that NOW! That's an order.

REMINDER: 4th Annual Mercury Lounge X-mas Show w/Wormburner and Knockout Drops is Friday December 10th. Get your tickets now because THIS WILL SELL OUT! Seriously. It sold out last year weeks in advance. Don't get shut out.

Safe swimming,

Vincent

"Lifeboat For Fatty" Has Been Mastered

2010-11-01T10:59:00.007-05:00

Swimmers!

Yesterday morning, the King of Rock and Roll took "Lifeboat For Fatty" down to Retromedia Studios in Red Bank, NJ to have it mastered by Adam Vaccarrelli. It was a smashing success. Stay tuned for more info on the imminent release!

Safe swimming,

Vincent

Escape From NY Party!

2010-10-25T11:17:00.003-05:00

Swimmers!

As you may or may not know, Mrs. Lifeguard and I (and Lifeguard Headquarters) are relocating to New Jersey in the coming weeks, so come on out to WICKED WILLY'S (149 Bleecker Street) and celebrate the end of 12 years of metropolitan debauchery, cause we probably won't be prowling the streets NYC as often anymore.

LIFEGUARD NIGHTS will kick things off around 7:30, and will be followed by the return of HANKY PANKY, an international supergroup featuring Cube Vintner, Beach Boy Hudson, Rock Lighting and the one and only, Dr. Ew Brady, PH.D, playing all your favorite hits from the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's AND TODAY.

Wicked Willy's is a fun dive bar with cheap drinks.

Hope to see you there!

(Many thanks to Mrs. Lifeguard for the fine work on the flyer)

Safe swimming,

Vincent

Molly Malone's Setlist/Videos

2010-10-12T13:46:00.002-05:00

Setlist:

Summer Dress
City of Golden Lights
Everything's Falling Apart
Officer Bill
Lonely Hwy
Living In Low Light
Audio Porn*
The Red Eye
Over It
Coffeeshop Girl**

*debut performance
**Delaware cover

Videos:

...And We're Back!

2010-10-06T15:08:00.002-05:00

Swimmers!

Mrs. Lifeguard and I have returned from our excursion and it was a wild ride down the winding west coast and all over the place. We saw some amazing, incredible shit. We ate some amazing, incredible shit. We took some amazing, incredible shits. It was a great time. Thanks to all the various people/places/things that were kind and hospitable to us, we're happy to return the favor any time you're out here on the East Coast!

I'll be posting some photos/videos from my two monumental performances in Seattle and LA very soon. Here's one now, courtesy of Kate Kennedy. This is me and SJSLCB co-founder and snare-drum expert Steve Murphy performing Lost Boy:

Check back soon for news/updates on new albums/shows/etc. There's plenty o' stuff in the works, as usual.

Safe swimming,

Vincent

West Coast Tour UPDATE!

2010-09-23T10:53:00.002-05:00

Swimmers!

Our show at The Space in Salem, Oregon has been canceled unfortunately. Was really looking forward to opening up for Gratitillium (www.myspace.com/gratitillium), they have some awesome tunes, I highly recommend checking them out. Lots of songs about animals, and my alter-ego Uncle Vin approves.

Also, our show at Molly Malone's in LA next Thursday is going to be just myself and SJSLCB co-founder and co-titler (titler? is that a word? sounds like a busty Nazi) Steve Murphy, and it should be wild. We go on at 8 PM SHARP! Please come on out and support the team.

The "I AM TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE" tour kicks off tomorrow night (Friday, 9/24) at The Mix in Seattle, probably round 8 PM. Spread the words.

Safe swimming,

Vincent

Mini West-Coast Solo Tour!

2010-09-01T09:59:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

Holy shit, it's September. How the F did that happen? I guess it's like momma always said, "time flies when you're having blackouts."

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the rest of your summer! I've been holed up in the ol' Miss Factory (aka my bedroom) working on "Lifeboat For Fatty" day and night. Quite frankly, I'm sick to death of it. But I'm also extremely proud of it and think it's the best shit I/We have ever done. Still don't know when we'll be releasing it but definitely within the next few months. I'll keep you posted.

In other fun news, the first lady of lifeguard land and I are embarking on a West Coast excursion at the end of the month, and I'm playing a few shows along the way. Here's the itinerary:

Friday, September 24th: The Mix, Seattle 7 PM?

www.themixseattle.com

Saturday, September 25th: The Space, Salem OR 8 PM?

www.thespaceistheplace.com

Thursday, September 30th: Molly Malone's, Los Angeles 8 PM

www.mollymalonesla.com

w/special guests Ace Malone and SJSLCB co-founder Steve Murphy

PLEASE, if you happen to know anyone in any of these cities, tell em to come on out and support the team! It'll be fun, I think. Also if you happen to know of any fun shit to do on the West Coast, let us know and we'll probably do it. We're flying Pant-Seat Airlines for this trip.

Alrighty, as always....safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguards

The New Agenda + Recording Pics

2010-08-06T11:09:00.016-05:00

Swimmers!

Last night Boro and Steve Dans and I returned to our favorite recording studio, Retromedia (www.retromedia.net) in Red Bank, NJ to lay down 8 tracks for our third and possibly final full-band Lifeguard Nights album, "The Last Summer."

"WHAT???" you are probably exclaiming, "What do you mean 'possibly final full-band Lifeguard Nights album'???"

Calm yourself, imaginary exasperated fan.

The plan at the moment is to release the long-awaited (mostly by me) "Lifeboat For Fatty" album under the old South Jersey Seashore Lifeguard Convention Band moniker. You see, the modus operandi of Lifeguard Nights has always been: I record the songs at home, either by myself or with buddies, and then we get together and play those songs live for a while, then we go back and re-record them in a studio. "Lifeboat For Fatty" is all new material that we've been working on together for over a year now. Not only has the process been a throwback to the SJSLCB days, but the sound and concept are also in keeping with that as well. "Lifeboat For Fatty" really feels like a follow-up to "Dark Side of the Pool" to me, and so it shall be.

AND...while we had that beach house in LBI, we recorded a bunch of other tunes that I believe fall under the SJSLCB category, and so there's already a follow-up to "Lifeboat For Fatty" in the works as well. So consider this a public service announcement: The South Jersey Seashore Lifeguard Convention Band is back!

HOWEVER....there are a bunch of Lifeguard Nights tunes that we've been playing for a while now that have really been improved by the live band, and so I wanted to capture these recordings before they got tossed by the wayside and forgotten. These recordings will make up "The Last Summer" which will be the third and final album in the trilogy that started with "The Church of Song" and "Punch Sky." Was the intention always to make a trilogy? Certainly not. Calling them a trilogy barely even makes any sense. But I have a slightly OCD thing about numbers, and 3 full band Lifeguard Nights albums feels good to me. Expect "The Last Summer" to be released in Spring 2011, although I'll probably leak a few tracks before then, as they get finished.

HOWEVER, PART 2....there are still going to be home-recorded Lifeguard Nights albums. I'm almost finished with another one at the moment tentatively titled "Chapter 11." It's fun.

IN CONCLUSION...I know this all seems unnecessarily confusing. To sum it up, Lifeguard Nights and the SJSLCB are going to co-exist peacefully at the same time from now on. Some albums will be SJSLCB, some will be Lifeguard Nights. As for playing live, well, call us whatever you want, just don't call us late for dinner.

Pics from the studio, by John Noll:

Master Engineer/Little Buddy Adam Vacarrelli:

Safe swimming!

Vincent & Lifeguards United

Brighton Bar Setlist/Video

2010-08-02T10:35:00.002-05:00

Swimmers!

Thanks for coming to the Brighton Bar last Friday, we had a great time! Birthwater and Hrny Wrms were both wonderful, I highly recommend you check them out if you haven't already. Our setlist was a little weird. Since the line-up was stripped down to just me, Boro and PJ, I had a wild plan of playing mostly rare Lifeguard Nights slow jams, but we never had any time to rehearse, so we scrapped most of them and played some tunes we knew a little better.

Setlist:

Hidden Torture*
Downtown
Shame
The Red Eye
Lonely Hwy
Batten Down the Hatches
The Parting

*debut performance

It's possible I'm wrong about some of those, I can't remember. Video will be posted soon, whenever I get around to it. Or now:

Special thanks to the pool table for taping this.

This was our last show for awhile, as I head back into recording hibernation. We'll be back in the fall to debut our latest and greatest masterpiece, "Lifeboat For Fatty." I'll keep ya's updated.

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Thanks + Last Show of Summer TONIGHT!

2010-07-30T13:27:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

Many thanks to everyone who came out to the fundraiser at Bar 9 this past week, we had a blast and it was a smashing success! Good job, everybody!

REMINDER: Final show of the summer is TONIGHT at the Brighton Bar in Long Branch. We're opening up the show with a stripped down line-up and will be debuting some rare tunes from the Lifeguard Nights catalog for the occasion, as well as some new tunes and some old favorites. Also on the bill: Birthwater, HRNY WRMS, Sassafrass Spine and Weasels & Mumps

Come on out!

Bar 9 7-28-10 Setlist:

White Lights
Dire Straits
Allie Says
The Kids Ain't Alright
Lost Boy
The Gun Show
Lonely Hwy
New Regrets
Batten Down the Hatches
The Red Eye

FINAL 2 Shows of the Summer This Week!

2010-07-26T10:33:00.003-05:00

Swimmers!

Even though there's still plenty of Summer sunshine left to bathe in, we lifeguards only have 2 more shows this season, and they're both this week!

Wednesday, July 28th -- 8 PM @ Bar 9

A very special fund-raising event, opening up for Wormburner! $10 gets you in to see the bands, $40 gets you in + 10 raffle tickets, and all proceeds will be going to help Liam Hayden cover his medical expenses!

For more info on Liam, check out www.liampolooza.com

Come on out for a great cause!

Friday, July 30th -- 9 PM @ The Brighton Bar

With Hrny Wrms, Birthwater, Sassafrass Spine and Weasels and Mumps! We'll be opening up the show with a stripped down line-up and some mellow tunes. Should be pleasant.

Come support the team one last time before we head into studio hibernation!

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Dublin House Thanks/Sets

2010-07-25T23:23:00.001-05:00

Swimmers!

Thanks to all ye who came out to the Dublin House in Red Bank this past Thursday, twas a beautiful night of rock and roll under the stars! Special thanks to Sean for setting up the show, Pat for letting us borrow the PA, and Kathy & Steve for the big assist with the extension cord and power strip, couldn't have done it without you all!

Set One:

Swim Children
Lost Boy
Robin Hood
Serenity Now
Disaster Area
The Gun Show
Lonely Hwy
Dark Side of The Pool
Bank Account
The Parting

Set Two:

Amen
Stealing Coins From Wishing Wells
The Kids Ain't Alright
Beach Party
Sandbox
New Regrets
Ruiner
Whore
The Red Eye
Wave Goodbye

FREE OUTDOOR SHOW!

2010-07-21T14:05:00.002-05:00

Swimmers!

Tomorrow night at the Dublin House in Red Bank, NJ, we'll be rocking out under the stars on the patio for free! We're playing two sets, a mix of SJSLCB and Lifeguard Nights tunes old and new, and it's gonna be great. The rock starts at 8:30 and the band will be comprised of:

Me on stuff
Special Guest Mike Biskup on lead guitar
Boris Veysman on the bass
Beach Boy Hudson on the drums
Sean Calvert and PJ Donofrio on percussion

Come on out! We're going to have this much fun:

There's only a couple more chances to catch us live before we take the rest of the summer off to finish up recording.

Hope to see you there, safe swimming,

Vincent & LGN

Many Thanks!

2010-07-15T16:43:00.003-05:00

Swimmers!

Many thanks to all ye who came out to celebrate my birth these past two nights, many thanks to my fellow lifeguards for rocking out with me, many thanks to Kieran, Bar Nine, and Mad Larry as well! Love you all.

(photo by Mad Larry himself, Bill Ryan)

WONDERBAR SET

Bastille Day
Amen
Medicine
Serenity Now
Everything's Falling Apart
Sea of Death*
Stealing Coins
I Rattle When I Run*
The Gun Show*
White Light
The Red Eye*

*skipped because we got douched

BAR NINE SET

Bastille Day
White Light
If Only
Dire Straits
I Don't Like Love
Driveway Dreams
Allie Says
The Gun Show
Batten Down The Hatches
The Red Eye
Over It
RSVP

See the previous blog entry for more rock and roll coming up this month! After that we'll be on hiatus for all of August so catch us while you can!

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

July is Lifeguard Awareness Month!

2010-06-28T15:07:00.013-05:00

Swimmers!

July is my birth month and that means two things: party all the time, and I'll cry if I want to. I'm hoping for more party, less crying and to ensure that, we're taking some time out of our busy Lifeboat For Fatty recording schedule, and playing a few awesome gigs. They are:

Sunday, July 4th -- Independence Day party at La Casa de Mullet

(if you want to come, get in touch and we'll send you an application)

Tuesday, July 13th @ 8:30 PM @ WONDERBAR in Asbury Park (right across from the boardwalk)

A mere $2 cover! With Birthwater and Rapid Cities.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 14TH @ 8:30 PM @ Bar 9

My actual birthday. Bastille Day! Salsa cook-off! Mad Larry! Free!

THURSDAY, JULY 22nd @ 8 PM @ Dublin House Red Bank

WEDNESDAY, JULY 28th @ 8 PM @ Bar 9

Fundraiser for Liam Hayden! With Wormburner! Come on out for a great cause!

Friday, JULY 30th @ 9 PM @ The Brighton Bar

We'll be doing an intimate, mellow set of rare jams. Then HRNY WRMS will pound you into submission.

These may be your only opportunities to see us for the summer! Come August I'm going into hiding to complete the aforementioned epic adventure LFF and we'll hopefully return in September for a CD Release extravaganza somewhere sweet. I'll keep ya posted. Hope to see ya soon, safe swimming!

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Lifeguard Retreat Update

2010-06-07T10:40:00.100-05:00

Swimmers!

Heyo, how goes it? We Lifeguards just got back from a week-long retreat at an oceanfront home on Long Beach Island. The weather was beautiful every day. We swam in the ocean. We napped on the beach. We rode bikes into town. We played games with balls. We built sandcastles. We scored cheap crap at garage sales. We played mini-golf. We saw old friends. We bbq'd. We drank. We smoked. We laughed. We danced. We got naked. We recorded a bunch of new tunes. We had a great time. Pretty much the best week ever. While we're all sad it's over, we really couldn't have possibly had a better time. As soon as we get settled back into work/crap/reality we'll be posting some fun pics/videos from the week, so check back soon. Or right now. Whenever's cool.

Good morning:

Boro surveying the scene:

Timmay emerged from the sea on Sunday afternoon:

He dried off and then we did some hard rocking on the deck!

LISTEN!

zSHARE - I Don_t Know.mp3

Love was in the air! Quite literally, as this heart-shaped (un-doctored, fo'real) photo of the red red Moon from Sunday night proves:

Fireworks went off (literally, yet again) Thursday night as Lead Guardette/Hello, Boat vocalist extraordinaire Kato Cunningham proposed to President of Lifeguard Operations (Bass Division) Boro Veysman on the beach. He said yes. Hooray! Congrats to the happy couple!

We shot em from every which angle!

Hi-five!

Then we celebrated. Hard.

We turned into animals.

Then we had pie.

The next day, Pete saved us all from a shark! (Plus he made the best goddamn food and drinks all week. Pete = VACATION MVP!)

Intermission: "The Ocean"

Then Steve and Pete built a sandcastle:

That one sucked. Then they built another:

It was better.

AND NOW STEVE TAKES YOU ON A TOUR OF THE HOUSE:

Then Steve got engaged to beer. Congrats to the happy couple!

Buddies showed up and took pics of other buddies!

On the 8th day, God said, "LET THERE BE MANGAN!"

Intermission: "The Heart of Saturday Night" by Tom Al Waits

And there were rainbows! Magic all up in this bitch!

Steve shows me his canvas for the "Lifeboat for Fatty" album cover. I give him the thumbs up.

Steve always meditates before the letter "R" :

Steve gets back to work:

I ride Steve hard, to get the best out of him:

Finally, the masterpiece is complete:

Oh yeah, we also got some recording done.

HARD ROCK.

Break time.

Back to recording.

Break time.

Back to recording.

Break time.

We were having a great time! As you can probably tell from my drunken camera work.

Yep, there is a shit-ton of new music in the works! Even more of a shit-ton than usual. Boro and I went into Retromedia Studios in Red Bank last week with drumming ma-cheen Steve Hono and recorded bass/drums on five tracks for the upcoming "Lifeboat for Fatty" album, plus a couple old Lifeguard Nights rockers that never got the studio treatment but are going to melt your ears off. Then, at the LBI house we recorded bass/drums for the rest of the "Lifeboat" tunes with drumming ma-cheen Steve Dans, as well as a bunch of tunes for an upcoming SJSLCB (possibly) album. Steve also laid down some drum beats that I'm gonna have fun with, and Lifeguard Timmay laid down a song I'm pumped to have fun with as well. So keep your ears peeled for some new tunes soon, I'll try to post em as soon as they're done!

Bye bye beautiful beach house! (Note Steve's ruggedly sexual 80's movie poster pose)

As for going back to work/reality:

And goodnight:

Dublin House 5/27/10 Sets + Video

2010-05-28T13:50:00.003-05:00

Swimmers!

Thanks for coming out to the Dublin House last week, you guys is the best! Special thanks to Vera's Lair for kicking major ass in between our sets. Check those dudes out, great shit!

Lifeguard Nights Set:

the church of song
amen
spare tire
everything's falling apart
dire straits
ruiner
stealing coins from wishing wells
unrequited love
robin hood
the gun show
batten down the hatches
the red eye
rsvp

SJSLCB set

swim children
bank account
sideways smile
serenity now
mexico
downstairs
beach party
wave goodbye

Bar 9 5/21 Setlist/Photo

2010-05-27T13:25:00.003-05:00

We rocked Bar 9 hard the other night. You want proof? Here's your proof:

SETLIST:

Allie Says
Dire Straits
Whore
LOST*
I Don't Like Love
Shame
Lonely Hwy
The Gun Show
Batten Down the Hatches
The Red Eye

*Skipped

Late Nite (Post-Bogmen) Party @ Bar 9!

2010-05-14T13:29:00.012-05:00

Swimmers!

Hi there, hope you're all staying healthy amidst this wild weather! Something wicked is going around but we're slowly beating it off like it's 1992 and we just discovered the Spice Channel through the wavy lines. Victory shall be ours!

Anyway, we here in Lifeguard Nights are pumped up about the Bogmen shows at Highline Ballroom next week. For those of you who don't know The Bogmen, they're one of our favorites, and one of the best live bands around. They released a couple stellar albums in the 90's, "Life Begins at 40 Million" and "Close Captioned Radio" and then went their separate ways, splitting off into such fine acts as Vic Thrill, Mad Larry, & more. While they've mostly been on hiatus the past ten years (reuniting occasionally to play some amazing shows), they're back with a new EP "Lookin' For Heaven in the Barrio" which kicks ass and you can check it out at WWW.THEBOGMEN.COM and you should go do that now.

I'm pretty sure if you dig us, you'll dig them (probably a lot more than you dig us, but don't worry, we won't take it personally.) I believe tickets are still available to Thursday night's show, so you should get on that NOW!

Following their Friday, May 21st show, we'll be heading up to Bar Nine to play a special late-nite set. Probably starting around Midnight or so. Should be fun, and free, and you should go. Hope to see you there,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

The Boys Were Back In Town!

2010-05-11T10:53:00.002-05:00

Swimmers!

Thanks to everyone who came out and made this past weekend's SJSLCB reunion a special, special evening! There was something in the air that night...the stars were bright...Fernando? I must say that I personally haven't had that much fun on stage in a long, long time. It was great to play the old tunes, to rock with some old friends (Mikey B and AQesha!) and to see some SJSLCB Hall of Famers (Biff!). It felt so right that **SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT** I think we're going to try to keep it going in some fashion. Stay tuned because we just may be playing some more gigs this summer! Who the hell knows.

SETLIST:

The Boys Are Back In Town
Swim, Children
Bank Account
Sideways Smile
Serenity Now
Mexico
Downstairs
Beach Party
Sandbox
Disaster Area
We Are Not In Tune
Dark Side Of The Pool
Wave Goodbye

The Return of the SJSLCB!

2010-05-02T12:26:00.000-05:00

Swimmers!

One night only! SJSLCB reunion (kind of)!

okay so my photoshop skills aren't the greatest. you get the point.

click the link below for all the details!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=115703181792524

Many Thanks! + Bar 9 Setlist/Pics

2010-05-01T10:58:00.005-05:00

Swimmers!

A gigantic THANK YOU to everyone who came out to the Fundraiser for The Almighty Talbot this past Friday night at Bar 9 and helped make it a smashing success! We were able to raise a ton of dough for Courtney and couldn't possibly be more grateful for your support! Many thanks to The Band Formerly Known as Death Mask, Mad Larry, Steve "Hank" Henry from Wormburner, and all of my lifeguard associates for rocking extra hard! Extra special thanks to KA and Eve for helping organize the raffle/work the door and much much more! Good job everybody!

Don't forget to check out www.thealmightytalbot.com often for more info/updates on Courtney, fundraising events, ways you can help out, etc. GO TEAM TALBOT!

Lifeguard Nights setlist:

White Light
Allie Says
Dire Straits
I Don't Like Love
Driveway Dreams
Whore
The Gun Show
Batten Down the Hatches
The Red Eye
Over It

SJSLCB setlist (oh yeah, that happened):

Swim Children
Sideways Smile
Bank Account
Mexico
Serenity Now
Beach Party
Sandbox
Disaster Area

A little pre-show strategery outside:

Executing the strategery:

Getting overrun by handsome fans (all part of the strategery):

The SJSLCB back in action:

Fundraiser Friday April 30th @ Bar 9!

2010-04-22T10:31:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

We here in Lifeguard Nights are taking part in a very special rock and roll fund-raising event next Friday, April 30th at Bar 9, in support of our good friend Courtney Talbot, who is currently battling (and kicking the ass of) cancer. The party starts early (around 7 or so) and is going to go all night, featuring performances by Lonesome Tears, The Band Formerly Known As Death Mask, Lifeguard Nights, members of Mad Larry, and more!

There's going to be a $10 cover and we'll be raffling off some great prizes, and all the proceeds are going to help Courtney cover her medical expenses. So come on out and get rocked at a great bar for a great cause!

Please visit www.thealmightytalbot.com for more info on how you can help.

Hope to see you there,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

THANKS EVERYBODY!

2010-04-12T13:46:00.006-05:00

Swimmers!

Many thanks to all of you who came out to Maxwell's this past Friday night, it really means a lot to us! Hope you had as much of a blast as we did! I would also like to thank all the other bands who joined us (Out Like Lambs, Hrny Wrms, and Montagna & The Mouth to Mouth) who all kicked ass, and I'm not just saying that to say it, I'm saying it out of love. Also, very special thanks to Katy Cunningham for choreographing the show-stopping Guardettes routine, and thanks to the Guardettes (Katy, Alyssa Millman and the First Lady of Lifeguard Land, Eve) for nailing it!

Setlist:

Hyperbaric Chamber*
Allie Says
Dire Straits
I Don't Like Love
If Only*
Summer Dress*
The Gun Show*
Whore
Driveway Dreams*
Batten Down the Hatches
The Red Eye
Sunrise
Living in Low Light*

*debut performances

Videos shot by the Meat Man:

We jammin'

2010-03-31T22:40:00.004-05:00

In here.

Do it.

2010-03-31T14:45:00.003-05:00

"Good Job, Honey" OUT NOW!!! Release Party @ Maxwells/Tracklist & More!

2010-03-01T14:17:00.011-05:00

Swimmers!

After months of writing/recording/tweaking/rubbing/tugging, "Good Job, Honey" is finally complete! UPDATE: IT IS AVAILABLE NOW ON iTUNES, GO GET 'ER!

This is the 10th home-recorded Lifeguard Nights album, and I must say I believe it is our finest. I know I say that about every album, but I usually don't mean it. This time I mean it. This album is a wild ride from start to finish with nary a dull moment.

Recording began in July and finished up last night. Boris Veysman played the bass geetar on pretty much all the tunes, PJ Donofrio played congas on a bunch, and Brad Clymer played trumpet on a few as well. I played everything else and recorded/mixed it all. A bunch of the tunes were recorded in September at our friend Chris Cassidy's house in Asbury Park, NJ. Many thanks to Cass for allowing us to record there, the setting was definitely an inspiration.

The plan is to release the album in early April, and we'll be hosting a very special CD RELEASE PARTY at MAXWELL'S in Hoboken, NJ's finest music venue, on Friday, April 9th. Our life partners HRNY WRMS will be joining us on the bill, as well as a couple other special guests TBA. Please come celebrate with us, it's bound to be a special night! RSVP:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=363820762274&ref=mf

Tracklist:

1. Dinner Plans
2. Summer Dress
3. The Whip
4. Your Secret Club Isn't Fair
5. Never Let Go
6. The Offing
7. My Ride Home
8. Weed Lion
9. Little Hands
10. Old Enemy
11. Old Friend
12. The Proposition
13. If Only
14. Rat Race
15. Big Children
16. The Gun Show
17. California
18. Real Bad
19. Hyperbaric Chamber*
20. Throw It All Away
21. Living In Low Light

*Recorded live in 3D with Boris on slide bass, John Dorocki on slide guitar, Brad Clymer on trumpet and Sara Jacovino on trombone.

Dublin House setlists/pics/thanks!

2010-02-19T12:42:00.006-05:00

Swimmers!

Thanks to all of you who came out to the Dublin House last night! We had a blast and looks like we'll be back there this summer, possibly even playing outside on the patio which will be freakin' sweet. Thanks also to Dark Passenger for providing the sultry & wonderful intermission entertainment!

The band for the evening was:

Boris Veysman: bass
Steve Dans: drums
Peter J. Bellomo: keys/vocals
Sean Calvert: percussion/vocals
PJ Donofrio: percussion
moi: guitar/vocals

I forgot to print out setlists so we pretty much winged (wung?) it, but I'm pretty sure we played the following tunes:

Set One:

Allie Says
Dire Straits
Lost Boy
Shame
The Kids Ain't Alright
I Don't Like Love
My Chevrolet
City of Golden Lights
Whore
Batten Down the Hatches

Set Two:

White Light (with Steve Hono on drums)
Amen
Stealing Coins From Wishing Wells
Paradise
Robin Hood
The Red Eye
Over It

Something like that. Not sure if anyone took any pics or anything, if they did I'll post 'em soon. At the moment we've got no shows booked and will focus on finishing up "Good Job, Honey" and continue working on our next full-band affair, "Lifeboat for Fatty." Hopefully we'll be returning to the stage in late March or April to blow your minds with some new tunes.

Until then, safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Dublin House Thursday!

2010-02-16T13:56:00.003-05:00

Swimmers!

Lifeguard Nights is invading NJ this Thursday night, armed with some heavy duty rock and roll. The shit goes down at the Dublin House, 30 Monmouth Street in Red Bank, one of our favorite watering holes. We'll be melting faces from 9 til 11 or so, and it is my understanding that this event is free to the public. There will also be a special performance by Lord Calvert's new troupe, which you should not miss. Come on out and get wild!

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

LIVE IN 3D!

2010-02-15T11:25:00.005-05:00

Swimmers!

A few weeks ago, some of us guards got together at the last minute to bid farewell to my old apartment, which happened to be apartment #3D. For 6 years, 3D was more than just my home, it was my sanctuary, my fortress of solitude, my study, my studio, my muse, my vomit receptacle, my den of inequity, and much much more. Hundreds of songs were penned in that apartment, countless friendships were formed, strange videos were shot, loves were won and lost (and ultimately won for good when I met Eve), and infinite memories were made. Lifeguard Nights itself was born in 3D, with a few spirited open jam sessions right in my bedroom. If the walls of 3D could speak, oh the stories they could tell. Actually they'd probably just start screaming and then mumbling incoherently, for they are most likely traumatized beyond repair. I pity the new tenants.

Anyway, I've always wanted to record a live album in the apartment and call it "Live in 3D" but never got around to it. About a month ago I learned I had to move out of 3D and into a new apartment in the building. After a long week of heavy lifting, sweating, wheezing and sobbing uncontrollably, Eve and I were all moved out of 3D and we Lifeguards had one last chance to attempt some sort of "Live in 3D" recording. Only problem was I had moved all my recording equipment out of the room already. Good thinking on my part. However,a few of us were able to get together and have a good little jam session and record it on video. It's a little sloppy at times (we may have been a little banged up) but that's the spirit of 3D. Lifeguard Nights does not believe in perfection, we believe in having fun with it. So here ya go, the Lifeguard Nights: Live in 3D Video Series. Enjoy, and fare thee well, 3D, you shall be missed.

the band for the evening was:

Boris Veysman: bass, vocals
Peter Bellomo: keys, vocals
Brad Clymer: trumpet, vocals
Mike Gallina: guitar
Dave Biskup: shaker?
Nick Oliver: heckling
and me: guitar, vocals

"Downtown" -- The first Lifeguard Nights song, written/recorded in 3D

"Shame"

"Lost Boy"

"Fred's Going to Haiti" -- a brand new tune we improvised on the spot

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Crappy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-12T15:15:00.002-05:00

Swimmers!

Yep, Valentine's Day is here again, just to annoy the shit out of all of us. Even those of us who are happily in love. But for those of you who might find yourself all alone this Sunday, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy a nice romantic evening by yourself. Listen to this Lifeguard Nights Valentine's Day classic "I Choo Choo Choose Me" for further instructions:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/724766062fe87dd6/

As for the rest of you, wear some prophylactics dammit. We got too many people running around this planet already.

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Bar 9 - 2/6/10 Setlist & Pics

2010-02-09T12:31:00.009-05:00

Swimmers!

A big wet kiss to all of you who came out this past Saturday to celebrate Eve's birthday with us and Hrny Wrms, we all had a blast! Many thanks to Kieran, Will, Thor, and everyone at Bar 9 for making it a special night all around! Thanks to Hrny Wrms as well for being awesome, and thanks to KA for taking the pics below!

The band consisted of:

Boris Veysman on the bass
Stephen Seth Dans on the drums
Peter J. Bellomo on the keys/vocals
Brad Clymer on the trumpet
I played guitar and sang

SETLIST:

Lost Boy
Dire Straits
Allie Says
In This Light
I Don't Like Love
Widdle Witches*
Whore
Fred's Going to Haiti*
Batten Down the Hatches
Sunrise
We
RSVP
The Red Eye

* Debut performances

See, we rocked:

Then Eve gave us the finger:

Then Boris and I had some laughs with a handsome stranger:

Then I sucked off the stranger for blow:

The End.

Bar 9 B-Day Bash/Snow Ball Set-List/Pics!

2010-01-28T11:38:00.005-05:00

Thanks to all who came out for the Bar 9 Birthday Bash/Snow Ball last Friday night, it was freakin' awesome. The band consisted of Boris Veysman on the bass, Steve Dans on the drums, John Dorocki on guitar, Pete Bellomo on piano/vocals, Brad Clymer on trumpet/vocals and myself on guitar and vocals.

SETLIST:

The Kids Ain't Alright
White Light
Paradise
City of Golden Lights
I Don't Like Love*
Dire Straits
Ruiner
Upgrade U**
Shame
The Fog*
Whore
Batten Down The Hatches
Rsvp
The Red Eye
Over It

* scratched by me for some unknown reason
** beyonce, by request

Special thanks to the Bar 9 dancers for igniting the party with their hot moves...

...and special thanks to Harold as well, the best cooler in the business.

Remember, next Saturday February 6th, the Birthday Bonanza at Bar 9 continues at 9 PM, as we celebrate Eve's birthday with special guests Hrny Wrms! Be there or be an asshole. Choose wisely.

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights!

SHOWS! (The Beast Awakens)

2010-01-19T15:19:00.002-05:00

Swimmers!

The gargantuan, shape-shifting beast known only as LIFEGUARD NIGHTS has been lured out of hibernation to play some very special shows!

--FRIDAY, JANUARY 22ND @ BAR NINE (53rd @ 9th, NYC) @ 9:30 PM

We'll be celebrating the births of Ms. Kristin Ann Fahlbusch, and our very own Herculean drummer, Stephen Seth Dans! It's going to be amazing! Long lost hits, newfangled hits, and a very special surprise or two! You do not want to miss it!

--SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6th @ BAR NINE @ 9 PM with HRNY WRMS!

We'll be celebrating the birth of my dear sweet wife, Eve, who will be hand-selecting the setlist for us! Plus, HRNY WRMS! A wonderful night is guaranteed!

--THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 18th @ DUBLIN HOUSE (30 Monmouth St, Red Bank, NJ) 9:30-11:30

Our first ever appearance at the legendary Dublin House, a fine watering hole in Red Bank, NJ. We'll be rocking for a good portion of the evening so come on down and strap yourself in, it's gonna be a wild ride. There will also be a special guest performance by Sean Calvert's new musical endeavor, which will most likely melt your faces!

Hope to see you folks at these elegant affairs!

Safe swimming,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Happy New Year!

2010-01-04T13:16:00.012-05:00

Swimmers!

We here at Lifeguard Nights hope 2010 has been treating you well so far, with many warm hugs and kisses, rubs and tugs, cakes and cookies, so on and so forth! 2008 was great, 2009 was fine and 2010 shall be...well, to be honest, the initial word that came to me was "enh," which is the sound of my apathetic, disaffected shrug. However, in keeping with the spirit of rebirth that each new year provides (albeit fleetingly), I have decided that 2010 shall be...ZENH! Zenh is very similar to "enh" except the shrug-sound is now less disaffected and more meditative, plus with a z sound at the beginning of it.

[I will just say right now, so as not to sound like one of the pseudo-spiritual assholes described in "Amen," that I am no expert on Zen Buddhism, nor do I pretend to practice it, or intend to start practicing it. Everything I know about Zen I learned from Wikipedia, and The Golden Child (and now that I think about it, especially the part where the title character turns a Pepsi can into a dancing figurine, I'm pretty sure that movie has nothing to do with Buddhism.)]

Zenh, however, the philosophy that I'm making up right now as I type this, meets somewhere in the middle between bitter, dejected detachment, and enlightenment. The three tenets of Zenh are as follows:

1. Shit is going to piss you off. When shit pisses you off, ignore the shit as best you can. Do not, under any circumstances dwell on the shit. There's always going to be more shit.

2. Avoid the shit, unless the shit is unavoidable. Some examples of this type of shit: Drama, Stress, Heavy Lifting, Vomiting, etc.

3. Choose to do the shit that you love, first and foremost, no matter what other people are trying to get you to do, and no matter what they think/say/write about what the shit you are doing. (NOTE: The word "do" can be replaced with "be" as I believe one is what one does. I shall henceforth call this the "Do/Be" principle.)

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure there's some shit I'm leaving out. Basically, just like every year, I hope 2010 is healthy and productive not only for Lifeguard Nights, but for you all as well. Do not doubt yourselves or your abilities. Make some art and share it with your friends and/or the world. Do not buy the dishonest shit the mang is trying to sell you. His shit sucks.

Safe swimming and do/be it up,

Vincent and Lifeguard Nights

"A Very Mercury X-Mas" Photos, Setlist & More!

2009-12-15T15:37:00.008-05:00

Swimmers!

A tidal-wave-sized THANK YOU to all who came out to our wild, sold-out gig at the Mercury Lounge this past weekend, it was a freakin' blast!

Here are some photos of the event, taken by master photographer Jimmy O'Kelly. Thanks Jimmy!

Setlist after the photos (I will not write "jump." Go fuck yourself, "jump.")

And a couple photos by Alyssa Millman, thanks Alyssa!

SETLIST:

The Kids Ain't Alright*
White Light
Dire Straits
Whore
I Don't Like Love*
New Regrets
Batten Down the Hatches
Sunrise*
We
The Red Eye

* Debut performances

Once again, thanks to everyone who came out and we hope you had as great a time as we did! Thanks to the overwhelming turnout, it looks like we'll be triumphantly returning to the BOWERY BALLROOM next year! Wee-hoo!

That's all for now. Be back soon with info on upcoming gigs, recordings, etc, etc.

Happy holidays!

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Mercury Lounge Stage Set-Up

2009-12-11T14:08:00.004-05:00

In case you were curious.

Update: "A Very Mercury X-Mas" SOLD-OUT!!!

2009-12-04T15:56:00.005-05:00

Swimmers,

Yes indeed, you read that correctly, our 3rd Annual X-Mas Spectacular with Wormburner, Knockout Drops and The Yule Dogs is sold out! Frikkin' sweet! I just hope you got your tickets in time, whoever you are that is reading this.

We've got the full 10 piece band in effect for the show, featuring:

Cube Vintner on guitar and vocals
Boris "Shoot'Em Up" Veysman on the bass
S.S. Dans on the drums
Peter J. Bellomo on the keys, guitar and vocals
Timmay J. Dempsey on the guitar, keys, and vocals
John P. Dorocki on the guitar and drunk
Sean "Lord" Calvert on percussion
Paulie J. Donofrio on percussion
C. Brad Clymer on the trumpet
Sara Jacovino on the trombone

Rehearsals have been stellar and I guarantee we are going to pleasure-fuck the shit out of your ears! We go on at 8 PM SHARP so if you have tickets, don't be late!

We'll also be giving away tons of free shit like we do every year. Why? Because Santa Claus isn't real, but Lifeguard Nights is. That's why, fucker!

IMPORTANT UNRELATED UPDATE!

For those of you in the great state of NJ, Lifeguard Nights will be performing a very special stripped down acoustic set at Twisted Tree Cafe in Asbury Park (609 Cookman Ave) tomorrow night, Saturday, December 5th, from 7-9 PM! We'll be playing some oldies, some newies, some covers, whatever you want! They're gonna be lighting the tree that night in downtown A.P. and have all sorts of other festivities going on so the town is bound to be a'hoppin! Come on down! I can't stop using exclamation points!!!

Happy holidays!

Vincent and Lifeguard Nights!

THIS JUST IN: X-MAS SHOW 12/12!!!!!

2009-11-03T11:55:00.002-05:00

Swimmers!

Ho-ho-holy crap, it's that time of year again! The annual Lifeguard Nights/Wormburner/Knockout Drops/Yule Dogs Christmas Extravaganza is taking place on Saturday, December 12th at the Mercury Lounge! We're pumped!

This WILL SELL OUT so get your tickets NOW!

http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0000435BB0E38F76?artistid=1379813&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=52

We've got a number of surprises in store for you all, including special guests, new songs (including an all-new x-mas jam), old hits, free giveaways, and much much more!

And that's just us! Throw in Wormburner, Knockout Drops, and a special set of classic Christmas tunes by the Yule Dogs (members of all bands plus ex-Bogmen) and you've got a pretty incredible show. All for only 10 BUCKS!

Trust me when I say that this is going to be a special night. It always is. All of the bands, our fans and our friends, are an amazing group of people with an incredibly positive spirit that will permeate the room and leave you smiling for days. I hope to see you smiling there,

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

Halloween Show Set List, Pics & More!

2009-11-03T11:43:00.004-05:00

Swimmers!

Thanks for coming out to the Halloween show the other night at Bar 9, we had a blast! The band consisted of me on guitar/vocals, Boris Veysman on the bass geetar, Steve Honoshowsky on the drums, Peter J. Bellomo on guitar/piano/vocals, Brad Clymer on the trumpet and Paulie J Donofrio on percussion. They nailed it. The setlist was as follows:

The Whip
I Rattle When I Run
Sea Of Death
Dire Straits
Nothing Left To Live For
Whore
Bits & Pieces
In My Head
Stealing Coins From Wishing Wells/Hard Times
My Chevrolet
Batten Down The Hatches
The Red Eye

I dressed up as the dark lord, Satan. Here's a couple pics. If anyone has any more, send 'em our way. Thanks! Oh yeah, and there's a few Halloween albums left over, if you want one, let me know, I'll get it to you free of charge!

...And We're Back!

2009-10-12T16:36:00.003-05:00

Swimmers,

Hi there, missed me? I didn't think so. Anyway, after a brief hiatus I'm happy to announce the return of Lifeguard Nights to the stage, to celebrate our favorite holiday (Halloween) at our favorite bar (Bar Nine) with our favorite band (Hrny Wrms)!

The party starts at 9 PM on Friday, October 30th (Devils Night) at Bar Nine on 807 9th Ave (between 53rd and 54th). We're going on first, followed by Hrny Wrms!

We're preparing a very special set just for the occasion, featuring some of the more dark/scary LGN material. Old hits, new hits, obscure hits galore! The band will (hopefully) be comprised of me on guitar and vocals, Boris Veysman on bass, Lil' Steve Honoshowsky on drums, Peter J. Bellomo on guitar/piano/vocals, Paulie Jo Donofrio on congas, Charles Brad Clymer on trumpet and Sarah Rose on viola. You've definitely never heard us like this before. I myself have never actually heard us like this before, and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be awesome.

IT'S A COSTUME PARTY SO DON'T BE LAME. I will personally be giving away a special prize for best costume.

In addition to all this greatness, I'll also be releasing a very special brand-spankin-new Uncle Vin HALLOWEEN ALBUM! It's fun stuff for the whole family, and it rocks pretty hard. Quite honestly, I myself am shocked at how hard some of these tunes rock. You won't be disappointed.

Hope to see you there!

Vincent & Lifeguard Nights

State of the Lifeguard Address

2009-08-31T09:28:00.002-05:00

Swimmers,

Hi there, how's it going? Another summer is rapidly coming to a close, and sadly, so is another chapter in the Lifeguard Nights movie of the week. As some of you know, Lifeguard Nights had been trying things out differently the past few months. Instead of recording at home and then rounding up whomever was willing and able to play gigs with me, I stripped the band down to a core group with some new players and we began working on a bunch of new material together. While the new modus operandi did yield some promising results, ultimately, it just didn't work for me. It became a complicated and difficult situation, and there's no need to go into all the details. Basically, I just wasn't having fun with it anymore, and that's not a feeling I ever want to have again.

So, I'm going back to my old ways of recording at home and then playing gigs with whomever wants to learn the songs and join me. I've got a ton of new songs in the on-deck circle waiting to be recorded and I'm pretty excited about them.

"How do you follow up a double-album," you ask? A 5 disc box set, of course.

As for shows, we have none scheduled at the moment while I get working on these new recordings. I'll keep you posted.

Last Minute Gig @ Brighton Bar!

2009-08-13T09:30:00.002-05:00

Yes indeed, we've just been added to a stellar bill featuring No Use For Humans and Recreation, Arts and Pets! It all goes down at the Brighton Bar this Saturday, August 15th. I don't know who all is going to be playing in our band, or what the order of the bands are, if there's a cover, or anything else. All I know is you should get to the Brighton around 9 and stay for all 3 sets of musical mayhem. You won't regret it.

Outdoor Afternoon Acoustic Show This Sunday @ Trophy Bar!

2009-08-03T10:30:00.000-05:00

Lifeguard Nights will be playing an acoustic set in the lovely backyard garden of Trophy Bar, our favorite Brooklyn watering hole!

Come have some hair of the dog and listen to some soothing rock and roll under the beautiful summer sun on a Sunday afternoon!

The bar opens at 2, we'll be going on around 3.

No Cover!

"Trophy is a warm, intimate space located at 351 Broadway between Keap and Rodney streets in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Conveniently accessible via public transit (JMZ to Marcy or Hewes, G to Broadway or L to Lorimer)"

http://trophybar.blogspot.com

Free Download of "The Miss Factory, Volume 1" !!!

2009-07-29T12:21:00.005-05:00

You can now download the whole "Miss Factory, Vol.1" album for FREE at

www.tamurrecords.org

head on over there now and download that shit!

Many thanks to Ray from Le Rug (www.myspace.com/lerug) at Tamur Records for putting that up there for us!

In other news, we still got some shows coming up this Summer:

TONIGHT!!! Wednesday, July 29th @ The Delancey, NYC 8 PM SHARP

be there or be an asshole.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

2009-07-24T10:16:00.003-05:00

Oh, look out all you rock and rollers! This here page is undergoing some changes at the moment, and soon it's gonna be all tricked out and shit (just like my Chevrolet, WOOT WOOT!)

As you can see I already added that fine-ass video player over there, and that half-ass music player, and some links and shit. Check back soon to see the real deal Sally Field!

Michael Jackson's Dead

2009-07-07T16:26:00.003-05:00

Now get over it.

Summer of rock continues....

Saturday, July 11th at All Asia Cafe, (Cambridge, MA) 8 PM

Thursday, July 16th at Bar Nine (807 9th Ave), 7 PM--B-Day Hootenanny featuring Boss Tweed, Lifeguard Nights, Hrny Wrms & much more! All for FREE

Hot Fun In My Ass!

2009-06-25T09:23:00.005-05:00

Swimmers,

Summer is officially here! I mean technically it is...the weather is still fucking rainy or cloudy every day, but is that going to stop us from having a damn good time? Hell no. We've got a plethora of wild happy fun shows coming up:

Sunday, June 28th at The Annex (Asbury Park, NJ) at 8 PM--with HRNY WRMS!

Tuesday, June 30th at Tommy's Tavern (Greenpoint), 8 PM--with LA Velvet!

Saturday, July 4th in Schwenksville, PA--Outdoor BBQ All Day/Nite w/Si Senorita!

Saturday, July 11th at All Asia Cafe, (Cambridge, MA) 8 PM

Thursday, July 16th at Bar Nine (807 9th Ave), 7 PM--B-Day Hootenanny featuring Boss Tweed, Lifeguard Nights, Hrny Wrms & much more! All for FREE

Wednesday, July 29th at The Delancey (168 Delancey), 8 PM

All of these shows are going to be spectacular. Go to them.

"The Miss Factory" OUT NOW!

2009-06-02T15:51:00.011-05:00

Finally, after months of tweaking, pruning, caressing, and some inappropriate fondling, "The Miss Factory" Volumes 1 and 2 are now up on iTunes for your downloading pleasure! Just in time for Summer!

If you actually download it, please let us know what you think!

The Miss Factory, Volume 2 & BEYOND!!!

2009-04-17T14:57:00.008-05:00

Hi everybody,

So I finally finished up The Miss Factory, Volume 2, and it is officially a passport to wild times. As with Volume 1, a number of special guests joined me on these tunes, including Boris Veysman on bass licks, Drew Brady on keys and vocals, Brad Clymer on trumpet and groaning, Sarah Rose on keys and Gerard Egan on Slash lead guitar. They all kicked ass and I can't thank them enough for their time and effort. The tracklist for Volume 2 is as follows:

1. Open Season
2. Down And Out
3. Sorry
4. Hide And Seek
5. Keep Trying
6. Bury Me
7. In My Head
8. Bits And Pieces
9. Trash
10. Magazine
11. Circles
12. Road To Nowhere
13. Do The Stranglehold

Right now we're still trying to determine the best way to release "The Miss Factory," since getting double-albums made up is apparently rather costly, and coupled with the fact that nobody buys cds anymore, that's not awesome. But the alternative is risking having this gem lounge in obscurity (which it probably will anyway) and we can't take that chance. Once we figure out the game plan, we'll let you know. Whether or not we get physical copies made up, REST ASSURED the album(s) will be up on iTunes soon. If it's one thing I hate, it's you not resting assured. So please, rest away.

As for THE FUTURE (and boy do I love the future! In the future I'm a space-cop!), a few of us have been practicing regularly (like a real live band, how about that!) and have been working on some even newer material, which I think is going to shock and delight your pants off. It's a whole new sound, more electric and rocking and fun. These songs may end up part of my vague plan to attempt another concept album, called "Lifeboat For Fatty" or they may end up turning into something else. Who knows? I sure the fuck don't, but I'm pretty psyched about it. We'll be debuting some of these new gems at our upcoming shows, which are:

May 24th at the Mullet Convention BBQ in Guttenberg NJ
May 27th at Bar 9 in NYC with Little Embers (8 PM)
June 15th at Pianos in NYC (9 PM)

COME CHECK THAT SHIT OUT FOOL.

"ATE" Now Available Online!

2009-03-24T11:31:00.004-05:00

Swimmers,

After many months collecting dust on the shelf, "ATE" is finally available on iTunes and various other digital outlets for your downloading pleasure. Recorded in the Summer/Fall of 2008, "ATE" is my 8th (see what I did there? BAM!) Lifeguard Nights home-recorded album. It's a little weird, I'm not going to lie to you. After the more polished (relatively) and deliberately constructed (sorta) "Following The Hollowing" album, I wanted to do something different, something a little more raw and off-the-cuff. Most of the songs on "ATE" were written and recorded in the same day, without too much hemming and hawing over the lyrics and instrumentation and whatnot. I just banged 'em out.

Musically, there is some pretty catchy stuff on here, but there's also some more far-out stuff as well, like "Smoke Signals" featuring a distorted vocal solo over a hypnotic banjo melody and castanets. "Right At Home" features slide guitar and some good ol' fashioned knee-slapping, and "The Loser Parade" features me on Charlie Brown sad (bad) trumpet. It's a pretty wild ride.

Lyrically, the album is pretty bitter and antagonistic, but hey, that's what I was feeling at the time and I felt I should "keep it real," as the kids say. Writing music is the only way I know how to get my frustration out. Cheaper than a shrink, and more fun, I imagine.

I sketched out the cover one day at the office:

Then one night after sucking down a Rotisserie chicken and a few baked potatoes, I had Eve take this photo of my gut, and Dave Biskup photoshopped the beautiful cover:

VOILA! A masterpiece was born...or a minorpiece....depends on your perspective I guess. It's a piece of some kind, I assure you. "of shit?" you ask. Why I oughta....don't make me come over there, buddy! I'll do it.

"ATE" Track Listing:

1. Let's Start Over
2. Good Riddance
3. Geeks On Dates
4. Hidden Torture
5. Imbecile Reign
6. Smoke Signals
7. Bloody City
8. Right At Home
9. Joy Boy Army
10. The Voice of Treason
11. Walking Through A Bad Dream
12. Thanks For Not Coming
13. The Loser Parade

In This Light

2009-03-19T13:10:00.004-05:00

After getting hitched back in September, Eve and I took off for Vegas to lounge around in the dry heat and piss our money away. That got old fast and so we decided to head to La Jolla, CA for a couple days. While there, we stopped by my favorite place in the world, the Torrey Pines cliffs. I started writing a song and Eve helped out and "In This Light" was born. We decided to compile the footage from that day and make a little video out of it. Here it is:

The rest of the honeymoon video will be available soon on various adult websites. Kidding, ma, kidding.

Hangin' On E Street with Lifeguard Nights

2009-03-01T22:18:00.002-05:00

Inspired by the recent "Hangin' Out On E Street" series on The Boss's website(www.brucespringsteen.net/new/hanginout.html), I decided to shoot my own video detailing how the Boss has influenced my life, musically and otherwise. Enjoy!

Note: This video was not commissioned by The Boss or his people, I just have a lot of free time on my hands. I hope The Boss and his people don't mind that I did this.

Take Back Lifeguard Nights!

2009-02-26T12:30:00.002-05:00

Inspired by the recent Take Back NYU protest, I decided to stage a little sit-in rebellion of my own.

Unfortunately, it was short lived.

The Miss Factory, Volume 1 Tracklist

2009-02-18T15:01:00.014-05:00

Hi imaginary friends, I hope 2009 is treating you all well so far! It's treating me wonderfully. I have done nothing except write and record music every night, with the occasional exceptions of going to shows and making sweet love to my beautiful wife. The result of all this hard work is The Miss Factory, a double-album split into 2 volumes (13 songs each) that is quickly nearing completion and is hands down the best thing I've ever done in my life. Far better than that time I stripped butt naked right before nailing the winning shot in beer pong at Jess's house, and slightly better than that 3 foot long turd I dropped last week that snaked around a couple times and poked it's head out of the water. Needless to say, it's a great album. This is how excited I am about it:

A number of very special guests have lent their talents to the album, including Boris Veysman on the the bass, Dr.Ew Brady on keys, accordion and vocals, Katy Cunningham on vocals, John Dorocki on kalimba and harmonium, Brad Clymer on the trumpet, Sara Jacovino on trombone, Sarah Rose on viola and Gerard Egan on lead guitar. More guests are scheduled to record soon and hopefully the whole she-bang will be released this Spring. The tracklist for Volume 1 is as follows...

1. I Think It's Time You Moved to Florida
2. Melt Away
3. Frustrated
4. Lost
5. Andonandon
6. CLR
7. In This Light
8. Sex in the Morning
9. My Chevrolet
10. All Out Of...
11. Holy Now
12. Sunrise
13. This is a Demonstration

The tracklist for Volume 2 will be released soon. Not that it really matters. I'm only doing this so I remember what order to put the songs in on the album.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009-01-07T15:34:00.006-05:00

Swimmers,

Hope you all enjoyed the holidays! 2009 is gearing up to be a big year for Lifeguard Nights. All systems go. Pedal to the metal. Balls to the wall. Skeet Skeet Skeet Skeet. As of today I've got 21 songs close to completion on "The Miss Factory", the 9th Lifeguard Nights home-recorded album, which just might end up a double album if the hits keep on coming. I've also got 11 tracks all sketched out for "The Way of the Hen", the first Lifeguard Nights collaboration with stupor-producer Mike Gallina.

In addition we've got a few gigs lined up at the end of the month. On Thursday January 29th we'll be performing with the band formerly known as but still at the moment known as Death mask, at The Goldhawk in Hoboken. We played a brief set there a couple months ago and it's a great room! The following night, Friday January 30th, we're performing with HRNY WRMS at Bar 9, for Eve's birthday! It was her idea, I swear. It's going to be awesome. Finally, the night after that, we're heading up to Cambridge, MA for a gig at All-Asia Cafe at 9 PM. 3 states, 3 nights, 3 shows, 3 hangovers. Actually February 1st is Superbowl Sunday, so let's just call it a bender.

Lastly, we are honored to have been invited back to the Willow Oak Farm Fest in Madison, GA on Memorial Day Weekend, and we'll be planning a little two week tour around this event, perhaps hitting up some places along the East Coast, the South and Midwest. If you have any suggestions for venues or know anybody in these areas (including yourself--if you know yourself) who could potentially help out in some way, let us know! The goodness will come back around to ya someday.

That's all for now. peace in the middle east,

Vincent

Little Timmy's Wish List and Other Exciting Shit!

2008-12-09T11:29:00.005-05:00

If you haven't bought your tickets for this show yet, you are a goddamn moron.

In other news, I'm currently working on 2 massive albums at the same time. One of these albums ("The Miss Factory") will be in my usual home-recording style, but with a little help from my lifeguard friends, various special guests AND real (fake) drums. The evolution continues! I've already got 14 rough tracks sketched out and ready to go, and I love them all deeply. The second album ("The Way of the Hen") is going to be a bit of a departure, in that I'm working with a very talented and mentally disturbed producer (I like to call him Dong Johnson) who is going to take my songs and add his own (ric) flair to them. We're close to completion on one track already and the results are beautifully unique. It's going to be a Lifeguard Nights album unlike any you've heard before. I'm psyched.

Onwards and upwards! Happy holidays, swimmers,

Vincent

Mercury Lounge 12/12 and End-of-the-Year Roundup!

2008-11-25T17:47:00.012-05:00

Hi everybody,

Hope you're all enjoying yourselves doing whatever it is that you do exactly! 2008 is quickly coming to a close, and I'm glad because I'm pretty sure 2008 has been trying to kill me. If you could charge a year with attempted murder, I'd have filed a police report months ago. It's been a heck of a roller-coaster ride these past 11 months and I'm willing to blow God himself if he lets up in 2009. Blasphemy probably isn't helping my cause, I realize, but between the Giants winning the Superbowl, getting deathly ill for a few weeks, getting engaged, having an old friend try to steal 1200 bucks from me, getting married, wacky private detective adventures, work drama, band drama, baby mama drama (just kidding, mom), I need a freakin break. Granted, getting married and having the Giants win the Superbowl in the same year is pretty freakin' awesome, so I figure the universe decided to pay me back by having other other aspect of my life suck balls.

However, ball-sucking usually leads to better song-writing, so that's good. I only recorded two solo albums this year, "Following the Hollowing" and "Ate" but I think they're my best and I'm pretty proud of them. Plus there was "Punch Sky", our second full band album which I also think is our finest collaborative effort to date. So while we might still be completely obscure, at least we're getting better in our obscurity. Onwards and upwards to nowhere! To round out the year, we've got the 2nd Annual X-Mas Spectacular coming up on December 12th at the Mercury Lounge. Check out the poster below!

I'm pretty psyched about this show for a number of reasons. It's always fun to play with our friends Wormburner and Knockout Drops, and especially at our favorite club in the city, the Mercury Lounge. Plus, there's the Yule Dogs all-star christmas-classics jam session which will blow your mind There's no better way to get in the holiday spirit than that, I guarantee you. In addition to all that awesomeness, I've assembled a great team for the show, featuring a couple of fresh faces (Jeff on drums, Sarah on viola) and a great set-list, featuring a wide variety of new and old songs, and a very special christmas cover song by my favorite band of all time, which I'll be performing solo. Barring any natural disasters/technical difficulties, I'm confident this will be our finest show to date. We do have a couple gigs after that before the New Year is up, (including a Bogmen after-party show at Bar 9), so check the myspace page for details on those!

Alrighty, I'm down to suck off a turkey! I mean, off to suck down a turkey. Same difference. Peace.

Vincent and Lifeguard Nights

"Punch Sky" and other brilliance!

2008-09-09T12:49:00.008-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I am back! Not that I really went anywhere, I just haven't posted anything in, oh, about 8 months. And it's not like anyone visits this page anyway, but has society's complete indifference to my artistic endeavors ever stopped me in the past? I THINK NOT.

Firstly, we are thrilled to announce that Headshop Records will be releasing our 2nd full-band studio album, "PUNCH SKY" on September 16th! Even though that's a week away, the album is up on iTunes NOW so stop reading this, go buy it, and then head back here to read the rest of this wonderful blog.

Recording this album was an incredible experience from start to finish. First we went into Retromedia Studios and laid down bass and drums on 11 tracks in 3 hours with our good buddy engineer Adam Vaccarelli. A couple of the songs ("Whore" and "Oh No") we pretty much learned on the spot, and they came out great.

After that we recorded most of the overdubs at my apartment, with everyone coming in on different days and laying their parts down. It was a truly collaborative experience and watching the songs grow and take shape was amazing. It was easily the best experience I've ever had making an album, personally, creatively, and financially. Here are some of the highlights of the recording sessions.

After the tracking was done we went back to Retromedia Studios for an intense mixing session with John Noll and came out with a gem of an album. Next we needed an album cover, so everyone decided to shoot me out of a cannon.

The landing kinda hurt, but I'm glad we got the shot! Special thanks to Dave Biskup for his fine photography skills. I owe you a handy, Dave.

Anyhow, overall I think this is our finest work to date, and possibly the first album I've ever produced that I'm 100% proud of! I honestly believe you will love it, no matter what type of music you like, so if you have a chance, give it a listen and let us know what you think!

In other news, I finished up my 7th Lifeguard Nights "solo" album, "Following the Hollowing", and much like "Punch Sky", I think it's hands-down, start-to-finish the best album I've ever created. Recording-wise, songwriting-wise, everything. It's a big album, with 13 fully-realized tracks in the tradition of "After the Disasters" and I can't wait to get it out there.

In even more recent news, I'm almost finished with my 8th Lifeguard Nights solo album, titled "Ate", featuring a plethora of indie-pop songs hovering around the 2 minute mark, with a couple of interesting and unusual detours thrown in for good measure.

Finally, within a couple months the ENTIRE Lifeguard Nights (including the two new albums just mentioned) and South Jersey Seashore Lifeguard Convention Band catalogs should be up on iTunes! I'm pretty excited about this, and the possibilities it opens up for the future. No longer will I have to wait to be able to afford duplication for every album, I can simply release albums digitally once they're completed! From my apartment to your ears in mere weeks! Everybody wins!

I'm off to celebrate. Peace.

NEWS 1/25/08

2008-01-25T16:35:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year, swimmers! "Lucky '07" lived up to the hype, as Lifeguard Nights had the best (and only) year we've ever had! We recorded 7 albums, got signed to Headshop Records, toured the West Coast, grew to an impressive 11 members (if everybody shows up), and finished off the year opening for our friends Wormburner and The Knockout Drops at the Bowery Ballroom! It was awesome...

...but now "Great '08" is here and it's already shaping up to be even better! We kicked off the year with what I thought was our best show ever, at Maxwell's in Hoboken. I was actually a little intimidated beforehand, much more so than at Bowery Ballroom, because of all the great shows I've seen there. But once we got up there it was the most fun I've ever had playing a show. The sound (at least from where I was) was awesome, the crowd was pretty lubed up and there was plenty of energy on stage. Unfortunately, Sean's car was vandalized by some punks who destroyed his ignition, and the Hoboken cops don't seem to have any promising leads. They even took the tape deck AND the Creedence. Fuckers.

In happier news, you can now download ALL SIX home-recorded Lifeguard Nights albums at www.thelifeguardband.com (thanks Dave Biskup). That's So Low, Doing Harm on Easy Street, After The Disasters, M, Calm Down, Chief! and So Lower, all available for FREE! So head on over there and download em, each one's better than the last!

PLUS, we're heading into the studio next week to lay down basic tracks on our 2ND STUDIO ALBUM! Yes, it deserves all caps. It's that exciting. We're thrilled to be recording at Retromedia in Red Bank again, and working with our favorite little buddy Adam Vaccarelli! We'll be approaching this album a little differently than the last one, which was mostly recorded live in the studio in one day. We're gonna take a little more time on this one, to really produce it and give it a much bigger sound. If all goes well, it'll have the charm of our home recordings mixed with the professional sound of the studio, and I can't wait to hear the results. I'll keep updating this site with pictures and videos and reports from the recording sessions as they happen, so check back often.

Finally, we've got a bunch of gigs in the Tri-State area booked in the coming months, and are hoping to make a journey through some southern states this spring, and head over to Europe in the late Summer/Fall. To keep up to date on all Lifeguard-related activity, head over to www.myspace.com/lifeguardnights and drop us a line so we know you're out there, all two of you. Thanks, safe swimming for now,

Vincent

Lifeguard Nights on Lifeguard Nights: Lifeguards

2008-01-17T18:29:00.001-05:00

Vincent Brue's "Medal of Valor" Acceptance Speech at the 2006 Lifeguard Awards.

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 10

2008-01-17T12:43:00.000-05:00

Yes, the tour may have come to an end as far as rocking was concerned, but the party was still going strong. We Team A-holes had to return our Mercury Mariner (www.mercurymariner.com) to the airport at noon, but our flight wasn't until 9:15 PM. Team D-bag were all on earlier flights so we said farewell to them and headed straight for the bar.

That face pretty much says it all. It's hard to tell if Steve looks afraid of what is to come, if he's annoyed about what is to come, or if he's warning me to not do what is to come. Steve should have known better. After a couple hours, it was highway to the danger zone. I made some friends while watching football, one of whom, Herbert G. Farber, was a lawyer and offered to help me out if I ever got arrested in Seattle. If he had stuck around a little longer, and had I drank any more, his services might have been required in Las Vegas. Steve shot this video on his phone, while I was on a break from the bar.

Soon the Giants/Eagles game came on, and by that point I was sucking down scotch like the apocalypse was nigh. The Giants were dominating and I was pretty fired up, prompting three female Eagles fans to tell me to shut up. That didn't help the situation, and for the rest of the game I was screaming in their faces, as we sacked Donovan McNabb 13 times. I tried to get everyone to give Strahan a standing ovation when he broke L.T.'s sack record, but nobody seemed to care that much. I started smoking cigarettes in the bathroom after Super Dave (our bartender) told me it was cool. I'm pretty sure it wasn't cool. The next thing I know, I'm puking on the airplane at 6 in the morning as we're landing in New York. I can't quite recall boarding the flight in Vegas, or transferring flights in Denver, or many other things. Apparently I was slapping Steve around in the airport bar, and he didn't like that too much. But Team A stuck together and remained triumphant through it all.

That was that. Somehow we managed to go on tour for 10 days, and nobody got arrested or killed or laid, which was pretty shocking. Okay, it wasn't all that shocking that nobody got laid.

Next tour destination: Europe. Stay tuned.

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 9

2008-01-17T11:38:00.001-05:00

Viva Las Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Vegas, baby, Vegas. And so forth. It wasn't easy mustering up the energy needed to do Vegas right on the last night of our tour. Steve resorted to smoking Red Bull right out of the can.

Along the way we stopped off to visit the Calico ghost town.

We made a bunch of new friends, but you can't see them.

Eventually we made it to Vegas, the Disneyland for delinquents.

We set up at Zia Records and played our final show of the tour. I couldn't bear the thought of donning the Elvis suit again, as it was most likely toxic and a public safety hazard at that point. It was all very anti-climactic. At first, Steve's red-bull-induced sugar rush gave the band lots of energy and had us all rocking pretty hard.

At one point, Steven even stood up and busted out a ten minute drum solo...

...but he crashed soon after.

A 14 year old girl bought our cd, and that made me happy.

Then the show was over, and our tour had come to an end, rock-wise. We all punched the sky and took a bow.

But the tour hadn't come to an end party-wise. We hit the strip and decided to put all the money we had made on tour (roughly $35,000) on black.

Naturally, we lost. I was pretty upset. Beams of light shot out of my head.

I gambled some more, and lost. At everything. Slots. Blackjack. Roulette. Craps. You name it, I lost at it. I lost so much, I didn't even have enough money left to chip in for the hookers and blow, so I went back to our hotel room and fell asleep.

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 8

2008-01-15T16:11:00.001-05:00

I Love San Diego, now that's a song I could get behind. We bid farewell to LA and headed on down the 5, but not before a crackhead accused me of trying to steal his (her?) rusty old bike outside a bodega in Santa Monica. Silly crackhead. Who wants a rusty old bike when you've got a MERCURY FUCKING MARINER? (www.mercurymariner.com)

I led the charge from the heart of darkness right into my old summer of 2000 stomping grounds, the whale's vagina.

First order of business, as usual, was downloading porn.

Then it was off to my favorite place in the entire world, the cliffs of La Jolla.

It was pretty awesome.

Some crazy people were hang-gliding over the cliffs, which looks like tons of fun if you have enormous testicles.

We pushed John off the cliff, and he was kind enough to take a photo of Steve and Drew as he went down.

Drew gazed off into the distance, wondering if there might be a glory hole nearby.

Steve and I embraced, happy to have survived the long journey.

Boris and I sat in silence for a while, drinking it all in. There was a lot to drink, and it was delicious, like beer-flavored beer.

I took one last look around and said goodbye to the cliffs, in my inside voice.

We headed downtown and walked along the beach for a while.

Apparently John had landed safely, and managed to find a glory hole.

Naturally, Drew was quite jealous.

We paid a brief visit to our La Jolla branch...

...then stole their Jeep and did a few donuts in the sand. Safely, of course.

Dusk arrived, and it was time for us to go to work.

The gig was at a place called Scolari's Office in downtown San Diego. When we arrived we met another myspace fan/friend, whose name escapes me. He bought us some shots and was definitely looking to party. Also looking to party: a few Navy guys who heckled us a bit at first, but warmed up to us (possibly thanks to "In The Navy Now") and ended up buying us shots as well. It was a pretty fun show and the crowd seemed to be into it. Afterwards, John, Drew (who was channeling Nikki Sixx at this point) and Mike all went out with our myspace buddy to party like the '86 Mets, while Boris, Steve and I went for a nighttime stroll along the beach. It was pleasant and gave us a chance to reflect. The tour was coming to a close and I didn't quite know how to feel about it. It had been awesome, exhausting, inspiring, disappointing, invigorating, depressing, wild, confusing and fun, all at the same time. I was fried. I think we all were.

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 7

2008-01-15T14:52:00.000-05:00

Dawn. A new day. A new lease on life. A chance to do some good for society. A chance to make our dreams come true. A chance to do laundry. Thankfully we did all of those, starting with the laundry. After that, we walked to the beach to do a little volunteer lifeguarding.

Sure enough, we soon heard the cries of a small boy drowning in the ocean, and we rushed to save him. Mike was first to the scene.

I followed right behind him in hot pursuit.

Unfortunately, he was too quick for me, and I lost him.

The boy drowned. Frustrated, I took a seat in the sand and decided I could use a little color, and a long nap.

Before we left, we realized we had been lying next to a giant shit tank that was unloading waste onto the beach, which, as the big sign said, was extremely toxic and dangerous. I Love LA!

We returned to Steve and Kate's and were adopted by Phil (of The Grommits and Stop, Revolt fame) and Abby (of Phil's girlfriend, and Third Watch guest-star fame), and went out for lunch and some drinks. We all had a good time talking about "gear" and that time I crapped in my pants in my Elvis suit. They invited us to a birthday party at a bookstore nearby, and the birthday boy was an 80 year-old doctor who once sewed a man's penis back together. We certainly couldn't say no to that, so we got all dolled up and headed on out. Mike was thrilled to be hanging out with a B-list movie actress.

Phil posed next to his favorite album, Woody Woodbury's, "First Annual Message From The President Of The BOOZE IS THE ONLY ANSWER CLUB"

Unfortunately we had to leave the party to go to our gig at The Gig in West Hollywood.

The Gig was a lot like the old Continental in NYC, a big black rectangle, however, the Continental never made us buy tickets beforehand, never made us sign a ten page contract, and instead of 5 shots of anything for 10 bucks, it was 5 shots of anything for 50 bucks. I Love LA! However, the stage did have a curtain, so I guess it all evens out. We planned on playing "The Church of Song" start to finish, but had to skip a couple songs towards the end due to time constraints (as per Article XI of our contract). I was also hoping to perform Officer Bill with honorary lifeguard and SJSLCB co-founder Steve, but we didn't have time for that either. John borrowed Phil's keytar though (thanks Phil), which provided some entertainment. The entire show was videotaped and can be seen by cutting and pasting the link below into your browser.

http://www.liveatthegig.com/gig/asx/video_browser_frame.php?video_id=1545

My guitar is way too loud, and crappy, and you can't hear the drums and bass really, so that sucks. It was fun though, and once again a bunch of friends showed up and we had a good time. Then I went back to Steve's place and puked. The usual.

"you pretty little town, you sad flower in the sand"--deconstruction

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 6

2008-01-11T16:56:00.000-05:00

Who was it that wrote "I Love LA"? Oh right, Randy Newman. He's an idiot. LA freaks me out. Not in the same way that Pennsylvania does, where I feel like there might be a Klan rally going on around every corner, but pretty similar. As we drove down the 5, I felt like Marlow venturing into the heart of darkness. Nevertheless, we pressed on and arrived at the Holiday Inn in Pasadena at the golden hour for our gig at Mr. T's Bowl.

Proud papa Mike Saccento met us at our hotel and took us to the Pie 'n Burger for dinner, which was delicious. Steve and Drew's rowdy enthusiasm nearly got us kicked out of the place.

Then it was off to Mr. T's Bowl, a former bowling alley that now serves as a laid-back, dive-y music venue. That said, it was right up our alley (wah wah), except for the fact that beers and shots were about 7 bucks apiece, even for the cool people in the band. How's a poor honky supposed to get his drink on with prices like that? Anyway, a whole bunch of our friends came out and it was fun meeting up with everybody, such as myspace friend/fan, Ms. Christie, who brought out some friends and took some photos, and Kieran from Bar 9 (our favorite bar in NYC)who happened to be in LA at the time. The show was good and we stuck around for a while taking shots of Absinthe, which tasted like liquid ass and didn't even make us hallucinate. We were all pretty exhausted at this point, and my Elvis suit was starting to smell like a dead body. Thankfully, we had another gig in LA the next night, so John, Mike and I went back to our friend Steve and Kate's place, while the newly formed Team C-Section (Boro, Drew and Steve) went back to the hotel, to get some much needed rest.

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 5

2008-01-11T11:27:00.001-05:00

I left my heart in San Francisco a couple years ago, so we decided to go looking for it.

John wandered off to see if it was at a happy ending massage parlor, while the rest of us searched for it in Golden Gate Park.

It wasn't there. John didn't have any luck either, so he decided to come meet us at Golden Gate Park. However, we left and met up with Steve and Jamie (who had parted ways with us after the gig in Sacramento) and headed up to "hippie hill," as it is appropriately called.

As we walked up the hill we were serenaded by Future John Dorocki, an old man sitting under a tree playing weird ambient music on a synthesizer. We all had a good laugh at John's expense, especially since he was on his way to meet us at Golden Gate Park, and we weren't there.

It was quite a lovely day outside, and we baked in the hot sun. I soon freaked out when an enormous, scary-looking dog started heading up the hill straight for me in slow motion. I was quite certain it was going to kill me. The owner approached and told us that he wanted to go hang out with his buddies, but that their dog and his don't get along, so he handed me the leash and told me to watch his dog for a while. I cannot accurately convey the terror and bewilderment I felt at the time, so let me just say that I'm glad I hadn't eaten breakfast, or I most certainly would have shat myself. I handed the leash off to Jamie and cautiously backed away from the demon spawn. John called and said he was coming to meet us at hippie hill, so we decided to venture off to Amoeba records, through an obstacle course of burned-out zombies, dealers and freaks. "It's a beautiful day out here, isn't it?" some hippie girl asked us along the way, and that might have scared me even more than the dog. Hippies have always scared the shit out of me, much in the same way that some people are terrified of clowns. I'm all for peace and love, but please get your head out of your asses, hippies.

Anyhow, we made it to Amoeba records, and wandered around like retards at the zoo for an hour or so. Somehow I managed to find a few good cds for cheap, Barry Black (a mostly instrumental cd by Eric Bachmann), Palace Music, and Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks. John called again and we decided that we should probably meet up with him at some point, so we picked him up on the street somewhere. At this point we were listening to Barry Black and it was blowing my mind like a billion dollar hooker. Best two bucks I ever spent. We headed for the beach, where John started wandering off again.

Unfortunately, he came back.

"Say Mike, that was pretty lame was John just did right there," Steve said.
"You mean that thing where he charged right through us and struck a really dumb pose?" Mike asked.
"Yeah. Let's drown him," Steve replied.
"Okay," said Mike.

And so they did. Boris looked on, visibly upset, so I walked over to console him. I explained to him that this was necessary for the good of the band, and ultimately for the best.

Boris didn't take it very well, and weeped for his fallen Team D-bagger.

We decided it would be best to photograph this sign, in case anyone investigated John's disappearance, so we could claim it must have been an accident.

We headed back to the hotel, and Mike parked the car at a meter but didn't have any change. "Does it take nickles?" Boris asked. "Dick Nickles?" I replied, confused, "Who's Dick Nickles?" "Dick Nickles?" Boris asked, equally confused. "Dick Nickles," I said. This went on for a while, and earned Boris the new nickname of Dick Nickles. Then we went out for Chinese food. Eventually the sun set, and it was time to do what the Americans call "rock and roll."

Epic Arts was an interesting venue, as it was basically a Victorian house that had been converted into an art space, with the bands playing in the living room. It was a pretty hot place, and I mean that literally, as there was very little ventilation and the manager baking brownies didn't help the situation. But lifeguards can take the heat.

Before the show I was walking around and started talking to some dude. I asked him if he worked at Epic Arts, he said no. I asked him if he was in the other band, he said no. I asked him if he was there to see the other band, and he said no, that he was friends with us on myspace and was there to see us. I thought he was joking, but apparently he was serious. I was rendered speechless. I mean, that's what you hope for when you go on tour, but that was the first time it ever happened to me. Hell, my old band The Hungry Housewives went on tour for a month and we didn't meet any fans. Or make any fans. In fact I think it's safe to say we only made enemies. But anyway, his name was Mark and I give him what homeboys call "mad props." Another myspace buddy showed up, Diane from the band Pete's Dragon, and it was great to finally meet her as well. Also in attendance were Mark Antinoro, Doust, and the infamous Nick Oliver, who I turned the tide on and preemptively started heckling.

It was a fun show. As the band we played with, Leilujh, wrote on their website,

"Lifeguard Nights is an incredibly likeable band from New York City who were great fun to watch. The highlight of their set had to have been the drummer telling their super-stoned keyboard player 'Man, you gotta stop doing that,' when the keyboard player sat down on the couch, took off his shoes, and started crawling around and beating on the drums."

The keyboard player, of course, was John Dorocki, who crawled out of the ocean like Swamp Thing, just to disrupt our set. Like Seagal, he's hard to kill, marked for death and above the law. Out for justice and half past dead on deadly ground. He's a glimmer man, that one. A mercenary for justice, out of reach and into the sun. The prince of pistols, you might say.

I broke my "no scotch rule" during this show, and downing a whole pint didn't cool the place off at all. I was forced to disrobe.

Afterwards, I remembered why I instituted a "no scotch rule" in the first place, when I got back to the hotel and proceeded to vomit every twenty minutes for 8 hours straight. Good times.

Oh, and we never found my heart.
Waah.

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 4

2008-01-10T12:43:00.000-05:00

We all woke up pretty well hungover after the birthday festivities, with a long drive to Sacramento ahead of us, so that was not awesome. Also not awesome: the fact that we had to head inland and leave the coastline and the redwoods behind, so we decided to park our matching Mercury Mariners (www.mercurymariner.com) for one last stroll through nature. Yeah that's right, Mercury Mariners (www.mercurymariner.com). While all the hip indie bands are traveling around with their environmentally friendly bio-diesel vehicles, we rented two SUV's. Take that, hipsters. Take that, Earth, you old bastard.

Boris and I found a nice place to have a discussion on the global economy as it relates to foreign policy and the strong-arm tactics employed by the American dictatorship. At least I think that's what we talked about. It was either that or poo. Maybe it was poo. I can't remember.

Drew Brady makes his first appearance in the tour blog in this next photo, as he and I answer the age old existential question, "If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody give a shit?" Meanwhile, Mike Steve and Boris were all distracted by a hungry bear that was wandering towards us in search of food.

Bravely, Mike Biskup beat off the bear with a stick. Hmmm...there's gotta be a better way to say that.

Before we left, Steve swore that he could rip a tree in half with his mind if he concentrated hard enough. We didn't believe him, so he set out to prove us wrong.

At first we thought he was just constipated, and then this happened.

We were pretty fucking blown away by the power of Steve's mind. Remember that in case you're thinking of crossing him. Anyhow, we hit the road and headed for Sacramento. Team D-Bag lived up to their name by giving us the scenic route directions, while they stopped off at a Vineyard and took the direct route.

The "scenic route", by the way, was a one-lane road under construction, which had us stopped dead for a good 45 minutes while we waited for the west-bound cars to pass. Thanks to the scenic route, Mike Biskup nearly died of starvation, leaving me to nurse him back to health at the venue.

Then we played pool. Everybody won.

As for the show...um...I'm not gonna lie to ya, Sacramento on a Monday night? Not all that wild. The stage was nice and big though.

The highlight of the show was when Steve used his mind powers to make his toms disappear.

Then we went to bed.

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 3

2008-01-08T12:22:00.000-05:00

After waking up with a case of heartburn that would probably kill Tommy Lasorda, we packed up and headed on out on a long, scenic drive to Arcata, California. Steve took the wheel in one hand and lit up a cigarette in the other, a modern day lone ranger.

I sat shotgun, his very own Tonto. Most of the drive looked like this.

Until Steve downed his 8th beer. And then it looked more like this.

Eventually we hit the Redwoods (not literally, thankfully) and pulled over to fondle some nature. Birthday boy Mike Biskup was especially aroused, and started giving the business to one of the poor trees.

As an avid outdoorsman and friend of all living things, I couldn't help but take offense to Mike's unbridled savagery, even if it was birthday.

I needed to teach Mike a lesson, and what better way than giving him a taste of his own medicine?

Mike cried a little, but I think he liked it. Afterwards, we cuddled, and I think he gained a newfound respect for nature, as you can see from the look on his face.

After this brief lesson in nature and sodomy, we got back in the car and headed for the California coast. I was soon informed via text message that the Giants, at one point down 17-3 to the Washington Redskins, had come back to win the game with a goal line stand. And then we saw this...

and this...

...and for a good twenty minutes or so, I believed that God didn't hate me. We parked the car at a tiny beach along the way, so Mike could have lunch, and everyone else could take photos of each other's penises. It was a good time.

"What do you say, Vino?" Boris inquired.

"I say I think I smell weed," I said, "Let's follow this scent, and see where it leads."

And so we did. Not surprisingly, it led us directly to Muddy's Hot Cup, the quaint little venue in Humboldt County at which we were playing at that evening. We met Kate, the manager of the place, who was awesome. Here she is wearing our limited edition "Jay Biskup Thinks You're An Asshole" t-shirt, with John and Mike outside the bar.

Kate was not the only awesome Arcata-ian. A magician named Shantaram, who owned the liquor store across the street, impressed us all by making a free bottle of Ketel One appear. We gratefully thanked him, and performed a little magic trick ourselves by making the vodka disappear. Shortly thereafter, I wound up with a bra on my head.

One guy, the only Arcata-ian who was not awesome, demanded that I give him the bra, claiming it was his ex-girlfriend's. I respectfully declined to comply with his wishes, as this was the first under-garment I have ever received while performing, and it smelled pretty. We played for quite a while and it was a fun mess of a time. I don't know happened. Band members were coming and going from the stage every few minutes, audience members were playing with the band, and at one point I think I was talking in between songs for about twenty minutes straight (about what, I do not recall). Suffice it to say I think we all had a pretty strong contact high, some of us from just breathing in the Arcata air, some of us from putting our lips on joints and breathing in the sweet marijuana smoke. We made some great new friends, like these people....

...and these people, who were actually lifeguards. Respect.

Good times were had by all. It certainly wasn't our most well-attended show, and definitely not our best performance, but undoubtedly the most fun show of the trip. Many thanks to Kate and all the fine people of Arcata, except that one guy who was a douche.

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 2

2007-11-29T11:13:00.000-05:00

After waking up with a case of heartburn that would make Tommy Lasorda proud, I stumbled down to meet Drew and Boris at the hotel cafe for breakfast. I was hoping it was a complimentary breakfast, but alas, it was not. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it was an insulting breakfast. The waiter was about as friendly as Stalin, the coffee should have been ashamed of itself (especially in Seattle), and the prices seemed like they were set in the distant future after a serious rise in inflation. But you know me, I don't like to complain....

As we packed up our crap, Mike's keen eye (with the aid of Steve's 2-nocs) managed to spy a bunch of junkies hanging out on the street corner below. We managed to catch one lucky fellow actually jamming a needle into his arm, while one of his buddies stumbled around trying to pull up his pants for about 10 minutes. Unfortunately, none of the postcards in the hotel gift shop depicted such a beautiful scene, so I bought one of the Space Needle instead. Close enough.

We waved bye bye to Seattle...

...and hello to Portland, where I ruined Steve's beautiful nature shot of two pigeons crapping on a water fountain by walking into frame.

Later in the day, Mike Biskup was reunited with his birth family.

After those heartwarming moments, we decided to celebrate by heading over to the venue we were playing at that night, The Red Room, to check it out. As we pulled into the parking lot, we learned that beer had called to say it missed us, which was great news!

"Coincidentally," Mike said, "I miss beer."

We all laughed. Especially Steve, who giggled like a sissy.

It always gets me hot when Steve giggles like a sissy, so I ran over and gave him a licking.

Boris got a little jealous of Team A-Hole's sexual chemistry, and invited Team D-Bag's John Dorocki over to give him a licking of his own.

John seemed to like the idea.

After all the licking, we reunited with our old friend beer, and played a show too. It was fun. Unfortunately, my plans to reunite with my old high school buddy and secret society FlexGrip member Pat Hayden fell through, when he didn't show up. After a number of $1 mystery shots (which may or may not have been rat poison), we headed back to Flirt's Lounge at the Holiday Inn, where a wedding reception was taking place. The spirit of Elvis (with a little help from those $1 mystery shots) took control of my body.

In all the excitement, I'm quite certain I wet myself. I ran upstairs, ordered another late night pizza, blew a couple lines of parmesan cheese, and called it a night.

West Coast Tour Blog, Day 1

2007-10-04T14:30:00.001-05:00

Friday, September 21st

We arrived safely at The Crowne Royale Hotel in Seattle, shortly after our security team beat off thousands of fans clamoring for our flesh and autographs. Hmmm...there's gotta be a better way to say that.

We all went out to eat at some Irish place. Boris and Drew had some coddle. I had some kind of meat pasty (and a g-string). It was tasty. Mike and I went home to get our beauty rest for the gig while Steve, John and Boris investigated a crime scene.

After some keen detective work, Boris happened upon a clue.

John managed to snap a photo of the culprit before he got away.

He looked a little bit like this.

"Holy shit. I know that fucker," Steve said.

Steve phoned the local authorities immediately, as any good drummer would.

As the perp was led away by the authorities, Steve wagged his tongue at him and gave him the old "nana nana poo poo" but in a really manly, sexy way.

It was a great day for justice!

Later that night, we played a show at Jules Maes Saloon in the Georgetown section of Washington. It was a pretty cool bar and their tater tots were like fried chunks of God's nipples. Mysterious Chocolate opened up for us, got down on all fours and blew our minds. Mikiech, their singer, would put Paula Abdul to shame, and not because of his drinking and drug abuse. Nay, it was his dancing. That boy can cut up a rug like O.J., if O.J. were to mistake a rug for his ex-wife and her lover. (Apologies to Steve, who is among the 4 people left who still think O.J. is innocent.)

Then we took the stage and played a fun set with our new instruments, which we had bought that day from Retard Center and planned to return a week later. The crowd was pretty enthusiastic, to the point where I decided to invite everyone to our hotel room at The Crowne Royale for a big after-party. A little later on in our set, a couple of guys left over from 1993 kept shouting "PLAY SOMETHING HEAVY!" so naturally we busted out Slayer's "Angel of Death" and they loved it. Angst is alive and well in Seattle, my friends! We were actually prompted to play an encore, so we busted out a slow, sloppy version of "Spare Tire" which cleared the room out faster than that time I whipped my dick out at my office holiday party.

Despite that, the fact that we didn't get paid, and that nobody took us up on the hotel room party offer (apparently our hotel wasn't actually called The Crowne Royale, though I'm not sure that was the reason nobody showed up), it was a fun night and we met some neato folks. I do wish I hadn't ordered that pizza at 2 in the morning, but on the bright side, it was probably cheaper than ordering a hooker.

"The Church of Song" and other great news!

2007-08-20T11:33:00.001-05:00

Swimmers,

Greetings, long time no blog! As I'm sure you haven't noticed, I put the making of "Calm Down, Chief!" on the backburner, as I assembled a band and began gigging frequently these past few months as Lifeguard Nights. It's been a blast, and there are many great things to report from Lifeguard HQ.

First of all, on July 15th we went into Retromedia Studios in Red Bank, NJ and recorded basic tracks for 13 songs with our good buddy/engineer Adam Vaccarelli. Our intention was to try to capture our raw, live energy, with minimal editing and over-dubbing. With all of the over-produced crap out there today (bands spending months, or even years, in the studio wasting thousands of dollars doing take after take of each little vocal line, guitar line, etc, etc) I wanted to show that we could go in there, record live, and kick ass...and I think we did. All of the original tracks made the final cut, there were only a couple of minor edits, and vocal harmonies were overdubbed out of necessity. We mixed and mastered the album, shot the artwork and designed the packaging over the course of a week, and had the final product in our hands exactly one month after we had gone into the studio.

Ta-da!

"The Church of Song" is also available on Headshop Records, or from Cd Baby, or Digstation, and soon, iTunes!

"Headshop Records" you ask?

Yes indeed! While at the studio, our tracks caught the ear of Headshop Records (www.headshoprecords.com), who are putting "The Church of Song" out for us on their label! We are incredibly excited to be a part of their roster and feel that this is the beginning of a wonderful partnership!

We celebrated these accomplishments with a packed, sold-out show at the Mercury Lounge this past Friday, August 17th, with our new friends Jupiter One, and old friends The Bosch, who were both also celebrating their cd release parties. It was an amazing night all around, the highlight of which was a rousing rendition of "Over It", which included a number of our friends and fans jumping up on stage with us and singing along. It was also the debut performance of trumpeteer Brad Clymer with the band, a great new addition! (Plus it was my mom's first time seeing me perform, and she didn't disown me, so that was good too)

Finally, I somehow managed to convince most of the band to join me on a tour of the West Coast. Yes, we're leaving September 21st, playing Seattle that night, then heading down the coast and winding up in Vegas on the 29th, then flying home. For specific gig dates/locations, check out www.myspace.com/lifeguardnights

If you live in any of those cities, and/or have friends out there, support the team!

I'll also be doing my best to update this site with fun stuff from the road, so check back often!

It's lucky '07 for lifeguard nights!

safe swimming,

Vincent

"Shame"

2007-05-07T23:24:00.000-05:00

After “IWTWITW” hit the airwaves, and the accompanying video hit the internet, I quickly fell out of favor with the Hollywood elite, who were suddenly too afraid to risk being associated with a charlatan such as myself. Although that was my intention, I began to miss the lavish lifestyle I had grown accustomed to. No longer were my chicken wings flown in on a private jet from Buffalo and delivered to my door “on the house”. No longer was I sipping Courvoisier out of a golden chalice whilst my phone rang off the hook with offers to produce the next big indie band for some major label. No longer was I making love to twelve women a night and being called the re-incarnation of Errol Flynn. No longer had I a pony.

Instead I was waiting on long lines at Cluck U. on Thompson Street at 4 A.M, drinking malt liquor out of a rusty flask, getting offers to "duet" with Andy Dick, and masturbating to hentai porn at the Tasti-D-Lite, pony-less.

The mighty had indeed fallen.

So I began to sink deeper into an already dark depression, consoled only by booze, drugs and food. Then one day I told my trusty personal assistant, Diego (who stuck with me through my decline (despite frequent psychological and physical torture) in exchange for my Upper Deck Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card) to videotape me on a binge so I could get a look at what kind of monster I had become.

Thankfully, after taking a long hard look at myself in that shape, I decided it was time to clean up my act. I sobered up for a good long while (a day), and I was headed back to work when something grabbed me. It was Diego. He wanted a milkbone. Reluctantly, I fed him and headed on my way again when something else grabbed me. On the inside.

I put down my attaché case, picked up my guitar and a new song exposed itself to me. I called this song “Shame,” not only because that’s one of the words in the chorus, but because that’s what I was feeling inside at the time.

Misery is a sweet muse, my friends, and at the moment, I have a mouth full of cavities. Enjoy.

"IWTWITW"

2007-04-24T01:36:00.001-05:00

One day I came home from work and I took my pants off, as I usually do, and began washing some dishes. On this particular day, I was scraping the bottom of the barrel, undergarment-wise. Yes indeed. The tighty whiteys. As I scrubbed the overcooked Ramen noodles off of my soup bowl, I noticed someone in the building across the way, looking over at me with a quizzical eye.

Judging me.

And I said to them defiantly (but mostly to myself), "Yes, I wear tighty whiteys in the window."

Except I didn't quite say it like that.

Nay, I said it a little bit more like a tweeker pinching his testicles while sucking on a helium tank. Suddenly enamored with this new hook, I attempted to keep the rhythm and rhyme flowing. Unfortunately, the best I could muster was the line, "something something, smoking indo," as it is rather difficult to find a suitable match for "window."

(Coincidentally, Snoop Dogg was in attendance at the very same swag party where I picked up these tighty whiteys. Calvin, what is up, my brother?)

I attempted to make a point in this video, but it wound up on the cutting room floor. (I felt my screen time was better spent making an ass of myself.) The point was that an artist should be able to vary the tone and content and style of their work without their audience reacting like they just found a pubic hair in their soup. Some people hear a funny song and think, "Oh, they're a joke band," or they hear a sad song and think, "Geez, these guys are depressing." They feel the need to categorize your work instantly in order to understand it. Once they've made up their mind and put you in a category, you can't stray from that, or they will get confused.

I don't really know who is to blame for this. It could be the shady business folk, who insist on dumbing things down for the public. Or it could be that the public really is that dumb. It could be the artists who refuse to take chances for fear of alienating their fans, or the ones who took those chances and did, because they sucked at it.

(By taking chances, I'm not talking about a punk band playing a few songs unplugged or a metal band adding a string section at a live show. That is not taking a chance. In fact I find it to be an obnoxious act of self-importance. "Look at us, art form of music, we care enough about you to dabble a little bit in some of your more adult ways. Sure, we're mainly just hoping to re-invent ourselves to milk a few more years out of the limelight with a new audience, but give us credit for the vast musical strides we are taking!")

Perhaps I'm over-analyzing and overreacting a bit. I realize that some artists keep their work within certain confines, and I don't fault them for that. Some of my favorite bands, Rocket From the Crypt and Archers of Loaf for example, never strayed too far from the styles they created for themselves. I don't believe that you have to, just as long as the work stays honest and original.

I'm also not trying to imply that I'm better than anyone else just because I'm willing to throw a song about underwear next to a love song or an indictment of suburban New Jersey. I'm just saying that I write songs that reflect different aspects of my personality, whether they be happy or sad, silly or frightening, weird or inappropriate...and so when you listen to my music with your soup there, take a closer look...it's most likely your own goddamn pubic hair.

"Matador"

2007-04-16T00:06:00.000-05:00

Sometimes a song comes to me, taps me on the shoulder and says, "Hello there, young Vincent. You're looking quite strapping today, aren't you? Take me, Vincent! Take me now and ravage me! Carry me into your bedroom and capture me with your throbbing condenser mic! Let us conceive a beautiful mp3 love child!"

And I do this, because you do not argue with a lust song.

But occasionally a song will come to me and say, "Hello there, young Vincent. You're looking quite fetching today, aren't you? Well, I have to go now. See you later."

And so the dance begins.

Days go by. Months. Years.

Flirting.
Yearning.
Itching.
Steamy windows.
Hot flashes.
Cold showers.

Then, a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"It is I, young Vincent! The song you've been waiting for," the song answers.

I hesitate for a moment, then swing the door open with reckless abandon.

We embrace, and culminate our passion.

And that, my friends, is a love song.